Its not enough.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

"Don't you fcking disappear." 

That was the nicest thing someone has said to me all night. 
Strangers, friends, everyone else.


I'm having one of my moments again. Along with my phone, which has been acting up for the past two days. Sigh. The "He needs me, I have to be strong" thought is definitely the only thing propelling me on for now.

When will I learn to stop being selfish? Granted, my hormones are definitely messing with my mind too. Its hard to be having a hard time, worse when you're having a hard time separately. Gone are the days where all that mattered was S freakin PM, and all we ever did were struggle with Addmaths.. together. At least I wasn't alone. Growing up really sucks balls.

I wish somebody would help me. But there's noone around. Everyone's too busy trying to help themselves. I'm trying to help myself. I've turned a blind eye to many people, I know. I understand. I will help myself. And pray that God helps me too. 

I'm tired. Its like a continuous downward spiral. I have enough negative on my own, I don't need more. Happy people that are not pretending to be happy are hard to find. 

Its going to be over soon.
And then its gonna start all over again.
When did life get this.. long?

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