One step closer.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

"Your worst battle is between what you want and what you feel."

Indeed it is. I'm procrastinating because I'm afraid. Maybe I'm thinking there's something better. Maybe I'm thinking I'll know what I want in time. But evidently, time has passed and I still have no answers. Maybe I'm giving myself a chance to suddenly just.. know. Maybe I subconsciously don't want to go anywhere, don't want to do anything. I just don't know.

One thing I do know though. I cannot just do nothing.

People struggle when they are after something and fail at getting it. People suffer when they have absolutely no direction in life. I don't know which one I'd rather be in.

I've made mistakes in life. Its not like I don't know how its like to make mistakes. I know how it feels, I know there's nothing that can be done about it because what's done is done. The moving on part is the hardest. What now? On certain gloomy days, I'm thinking its time for me to make a mistake, to get a taste of real failure. But the thought that follows tells me why I would go ahead to make a mistake, even though I don't know if its a mistake yet. Yet. I keep saying it like it will be, yet I pray everyday I won't make mistakes as such. Its just not me.

Random rant. Ipoh-Penang trip coming right up.

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