What am I like?

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

"My boyfriend called me his superstar."

I should be glad, I should be proud. But everyday I sit around and all I can think is, I'm not. How is it that someone can think of me that way? This has never happened before. I don't know. I don't know how to deal with this. Inevitably, there are those days when I think, maybe if someone can see me that way, maybe I am that way. Maybe it was just a second, one second of me that made him see that in me. Then the thought that follows; I don't deserve to be thought about in that way just for that one second. Its unfair. 

Oh God, I just realised that one paragraph made no sense at all, I'm not even bothered to read it again and correct it. Please, do not take any word of that into thought. 

So, I'm only typing this because he told me to and because I think I owe him more than one hundred apologies and more than one million thank yous. I think I know better than anyone how hard it is to love me, and continue loving me. 

I love making you jealous. It makes you want to fight for me. I hope. 
I love making you tell me things you don't want to tell. It makes me feel like I care. 
Uhm. That came out wrong. 
So I'm gonna stop at two, just in case the rest come out even weirder.

First birthday shared together,

Its 3am now. I should wake you up. But I'm not going to. 
I'm sorry. Thank you. I love you. Goodnight. 
Dedicated to you. 

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