Monday, October 29, 2012

Yes, that's what GD says. 

University continues. I am trying not to lose all my hair before the semester ends and maybe I could postpone my balding plans to 30 years later. #stressed #depressed #movingon

Big Bang Alive Galaxy Tour 2012

Sunday, October 28, 2012


I cannot promise a non-nonsensical flailing post, but I will... try.
Nah, I gave up. I will flail all I want. :)

Date : 27th October 2012
Time : 8pm
Venue : Stadium Merdeka

We reached a little past 4, I think. I wasn't even concerned about the time anymore by the time I reached. It rained on the way there, but when we reached, it stopped. Didn't have my hopes too high though, and I was right. 

Of course, we checked out the stuff on sale, but maybe I was a little 'cheap' this year, so we headed towards where all the free stuff were. Hehe. There was, of course, a Samsung Galaxy booth outside, and we had to line up, get a chop, go into the booth, play with the phones, then we were given free stuff. It was so weird. Oh well. 

They gave us the blinking wristband and that flappy hand thing, and a blow up balloon which I kind of disregarded. Its sitting somewhere on my table. The banner was given to me towards the end of the concert, no idea what it was for, its nice anyway. :)

Then we went to line up to take a... "Best Photo". We have to line up to take this picture. Its pretty awkward. People just kinda stand there and stare. And Taeyang has been left out of my pictures. Sorry, Teydaddy. :/

 We were heading to line up, until I saw the official merchandise both. Couldn't resist, so we finally walked in and bought our lightsticks! I didn't have enough cash with me, or else I would have really bought the real pretty crown. :((( I'll have to settle for the smaller, thinner, less yellow, less bright one. But its okay, I'm a happy VIP.

Uhmmm. We kinda stood in the wrong queue so after much delay, we headed into the real queue with it is much more disorganized and messy and crowded. Finally, we got into our pit, it was already slightly muddy. Mehhhh.

Lightstick-ku yang tersayang.

Its so prettttyy. :)))

I took time to steal a picture with Eli's lightstick while we were just waiting for the concert to start. 

And that brings us to the terribly wet half hour or so rainfall. It started off as a drizzle, then it got heavier, and lighter, and heavier again. We were all soaking wet in our raincoats by the time the concert began. Oddly enough, or not so odd because I said a prayer right when it was starting, and the rain stopped! Bwahaha. 

The stage. 

Of course, they started with Still Alive, came down in their uhmm.. cases? I nearly lost all my voice within the first two songs. Followed by Tonight and Hands Up, and Fantastic Baby. Then they stopped to say hi and all. 

 Seungri started of course. They're English have improved immensely since I last heard them speak. Some minor grammatical mistakes here and there, Seungri said "I am so excitting!" instead of excited. Haha. Taeyang was all hip hop and all "Yo, whats up Malaysia!" I can't remember what he said. :((( But they were all adorbs. TOP didn't say anything in the beginning I think, then in the second half, GD was like "Why don't you say something as well?" Hahaha. 

Gawd his voice. I nearly melted and died like HyunA's ice cream. Its all deep and sultry, just like how I remembered it from the last time he was here. I did see him much closer this time though. YAY! They are all really... fair. And thin. Maybe not thin, more like lean. Daesung's arms have shrunk by like 1 inch or something, and he's also fairer. Seungri's face is almost flawless and his eyes are not that small. Haha.

I know the pictures are really blur, but that's Seungri's back and Taeyang, obviously, with his cut up shirts. I couldn't help staring at his hair the entire time, its so weird. I mean, the way its shaved at the back and his braids. He only half tore his wifebeater this time during his solo stage. Such a teaser. Haha.

Daesung threw his jacket into the crowd, GD threw his pretty green cap and I'm not sure if the others threw any. My eyes were glued on TOP the entire night. OMGGG that face. And he beatboxed! Well.. of course he did. What's interesting this time was the Seungri beatboxed instead. He did most of the Bad Boy one while Taeyang introduced it. I heard every little "uh, uh" sound that TOP made. Hahaha. So random. 

GD was so FULL OF SWAG. No, I'm not surprised, I just had to proclaim it. They way he carries himself, the things he say, they way he raps, the way he dances, the way he wears a skirt, he's always such a kid, but always so...swag. He had a hat on for awhile, played with it alot, being cool and all. Haha. He was super cute, dancing here and there, flying as he calls it.

They damn cute, singing acapella version of Haru Haru, suddenly the chorus comes and they all scream into the mic. Haha. Oh the shimmering mics, twinkle twinkle everywhere. During Lies, there was a ToDae moment, they did the dance together, laughing. Nyahhhh. *dies at the moment TOP smiles*

 I cannot fathom how I had no idea when this happened. T___T They were elevated? When? WHEN? I need to find this. Unfortunately, being as short as I am, I know I missed out on a lot of things going on on the actual stage because I COULDN'T SEE PASS ALL THE TALL PEOPLE. Aihhh. I know I shouldn't complain, there were many shorter than me suffering even more. I could barely catch glimpses of then when they were on the main stage, even when the came out to the extended stage I could only see them for like.. 2 seconds. There's also that blinding light from the opposite side of the stadium that blinds us all when we try to look up at them.

GD&TOP's stage was like... WOAH. I couldn't even see what what was going on. When the other three introduced 뻑이가요, they were so adorable. Taeyang was singing to it, Seungri beatboxing as usual (?). Hmmmm. TOP was holding this... stick? Walking stick? Haha. They were wearing fire and water coats. Live rapping is the epitome of awesomeness. I was so into High High and omgggg I saw Deuk (?) upclose. So handsome. Making all kinds of sexy faces behind Taeyang while dancing. He was doing all kinds of dancing, super cool. I'm glad he's working with Big Bang, brings him further. The female dancers are all so pretty. There's a new cute dancer? Heh.

Taeyang and his braids that I couldn't get my eyes off. I didn't see him quite as much, because he was obviously placed in the middle of the stage, didn't come over to our side as often. I saw the back of his head a lot though. Haha. Love his live singing, you can actually hear the passion.

GD's colourful hair, he's still as skinny as I remember him to be. He sang like small excerpts of One of a kind and Crayon with the rest helping him along. OMG he was so adorable during the encore. He said "I can't just let you go like this. What song do you want to hear?" Then everybody started screaming all kinds of songs and he tried so hard to listen, then the band just started up their own song and he made a face. HAHA. Like "Okay, lets just sing whatever, I can't hear what the fans are saying anyway."

 Daesung probably only learnt the phrase "BAGUS!" cause it was the only thing he said most often. And Taeyang was on some kind of high, he kept making these little songs with scratching. At one point he was singing "Saya cinta padamu, cinta cinta pada pada, cinta pada mu~" Aigoo, so cute. He also slipped twice, I think, while coming down the slope from the main stage. He did make good use of the wet stage and did all kinds of leg slipping dancing. Haha.

We also celebrated TOP's birthday and he was so.. despondent. He probably felt it though, it looked like he teared when he was saying "tterima kashhhih". TOP said "I never expected so many people to be here, you guys are amazhing". Then GD was all like "We have been to many places, but Malaysia is the best." Also note that I've probably fixed their cute grammatical errors as I typed these. Seungri, as usual, learnt more Malay, said stuff like "Selamat tidur" and "Malaysia cantik" and "Apa khabar?" . When he tried to say that to Taeyang, Tae just stared at him like "wth are you doing, maknae?" :D

They were very generous with their encore, OHHH, they also came out singing Numb (encore), the part that goes "Can I get an encore, do you want more?" Wahhh. How sexy can that get. They sang three songs for the encore; Heaven, Bad Boy, Hands up. By the time Heaven ended, I was almost dying and dehydrated with severe backache, and secretly wishing it would end, but its so sweet that they continued for us. GD was already sounding out of breathe rapping to Bad Boy. Before they went back, they had a little dancing thing and so GD was like "TOP's birthday, its ya birthday~" and TOP was doing some funny dance as usual. Then GD went "Teydaddy, go Teydaddy, go go go~" So he took off his shirt, there's no concert complete without Taeyang taking off his shirt and dancing. 


Last ugly, drenced, sweating picture of us when everybody was trying to get out. The field was of course, muddy and all, but I could care less. My shoes need a wash and I am now a happy girl.
Proud VIP forever. 

Great big thank you, to my boyfriend, who suffered by standing behind me, trying to fend off people, keep me balanced, got hit by my lightstick a million times and for carrying my bag. And throwing my raincoat away. :p 고마워.

And I didn't forget, all pictures credit to @DarveenG. 

Still alive.

Friday, October 26, 2012

I have this crazy urge to be impulsive.

I want to do everything that I am not doing.
I want to take a sudden trip to anywhere, preferably not alone, but beggars can't be choosers.
I want to eat all the cakes, pastry, bread, pasta, junk food in the world and not give a care that I suddenly cannot fit into my jeans, losing my voice, or growing more pimples.
I want to learn pole dancing, tango, ballroom dancing, belly dancing, krumping (?) and every other kind of dancing, to realise I'm probably really bad at some, if not all, and hopefully pretty good at some.
I want to learn another language, Korean preferably, and speak it flawlessly; also hopefully never lose my English capabilities.
I want to take buy a one way ticket and fly to Seoul and hobo there for awhile because I have nowhere to go and no money to come back.
I want to do plastic surgery and prayerfully not regret it.
I want to dye my hair a different colour and not be discriminated for how weird it is.
I want to perm my hair into a big fluffy bunch and put flowers on.
I want to have money to perm or dye my hair. 
I want to wear heels everyday and not have my feet hurt in every way.
I want to possibly get flat abs without going to the gym.
I want to go out to places I've never been, do things I rarely do. First times are scary though. 
I want to quit my course and not feel guilty about it.
I want to be sure about my next step.
I want to know I'm not still suffering from identity crisis.

Yes, this is getting out of hand. I'm just complaining and whining in discontentment. I'm only giving excuses to cover my laziness and possibly incapability of chasing after something I want because its "impossible" to achieve. I'm just a mopy, unhappy, annoying little nineteen year old brat. I would like to say though, I am not spoiled. Maybe occasionally. 


Maybe, I'm sorry.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It is a privilege to be loved. 

To be loved by people who show it,
to be loved by people who hide it,
to be loved by people who cannot express it,
to be loved by people who love.

Love is, after all, God given.
"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

Suddenly I get reminded, that God loves me unconditionally. He does. And I don't know how to. Well, maybe I do. Maybe I love all the wrong things unconditionally. Maybe. Maybe I cannot... love.

This is an interesting find. Jaded. Hmmm. Disillusionment? Hah. Haha. Hahaha.
What? Come again? 


Sunday, October 21, 2012

I don't know what new phase this is.
I suddenly realize, that all those things I thought I was, I'm not sure I am anymore.
I'm not even sure if I ever were.
Have I been lying to myself for so long?

"Some people are just born with warm hearts while others are born with cold ones. 
It’s the luck of the draw really."

So, I'm the latter, isn't it? Sigh. 
Sometimes I hate holidays. Too much free time to think, to little time to sleep. Or its too much sleep, too little fun. Mehhh.

So, I also went back to Ipoh for most of my sem break. Its okay a week long. What to do. It was strangely eventful and dull at the same time. Eventfully dull, but eventually more eventful than my previous holiday sprees which only included many long hours of unplanned sleep and boyfriend. Haha. This time there was no long hours of sleep, and no boyfriend. :(((((

I was back for 4 days, for apparently absolutely no reason at all, maybe except Sam, of course. On the day I got back, grandpa went to stay over at a relatives house, then the entire Tuesday was spent doing work at Lost World for my mum, eating pizza, eating supper, going home, kill cockroach, sleep. Wednesday was a long day, woke up early to go to the doctor's, got a jab for cervical cancer prevention (which means I have to go back next month for the second jab), then got kidnapped to Lost World again to do more work. Hmphhhh. I am an efficient worker, should get paid.

After getting back to KL at 6am, then being rudely awakened from my slumber by the air-con-fixing-men, who nicely tells me "Oh, we'll be done in about an hour" and in my head I'm screaming "Get out of my room!"

....I need to sleep.

Also, I uhmm.. had some time to kill. So I checked out my mum's lipsticks. I was never a fan. Either it enunciates my teeth too much (which is not favorable, at all) or it looks like I'm getting a rash on my lips. Its weird. This one was kinda nice though. Hmmm. Reconsidering..

Ezzie came! Yay. Its so good to not have to walk alone in a mall and look at girl things and talk about girl things, I feel so girl deprived. Haha. And then we went to church together, its safe to say we even grew in Christ together. So glad to have someone who just.. knows. I missed my best friend.

** This post has been written and saved continuously throughout the 10 day sem break I had, so for the first time, YAY for chronological order. For the first time.

How we're going to make it work when it hurts, 
when you pick yourself up you get kicked to the dirt 
Tryin' to make it work, but, man, these times are hard.

Beh tahan, beh layan.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I want to express my greatest, deepest gratitude to that lady in the toilet that day for not leaving me. Or helping me out of freewill. :/ I would love to thank her myself, but a part of me really want to never see her again. Its not like I'd recognize her though. ://// thank you. 


보고 싶다.

Pros :
1. I get the bed all to myself.
2. No snoring.
3. Nobody wakes me up. 
4. The rooms stays as clean as I keep it. 
5. I get to wear all the clothes that are not 'mine'.
6. Nobody scolds me.
7. Nobody throws things at me.
8. Nobody uses my comb.
9. No random tissues everywhere. 
10. I can put things all over her table. 

Cons :
1. The bed is scarily big.
2. The room is scarily dark and empty alone.
3. Nobody wakes me up.
4. Nobody washes the toilet anymore.
5. Dust collecting at unused spaces.
6. The laundry becomes very hard to do, too little clothes.
7. Nobody cooks for me.
8. Nobody to go grocery shopping with.
9. Nobody (else) pays for the grocery.
10. Nobody goes with me to k-pop stuff.
11. Nobody wakes me up for church.
12. Nobody makes me sleep.
13. Nobody to give me synonyms when I'm trying to do my assignment.
14. Nobody teaches me Psychology.
15. Nobody to camwhore with.
16. No girl to go clubbing with.
17. Nobody to do impromptu stuff with.
18. Nobody to talk to at home.
19. Nobody to buy supper for.
20. Nobody to share things/ food with.
21. Nobody to scold.
22. Nobody to travel with. (i.e. Ipoh, Singapore)
23. Nobody to do make up for.
24. Nobody to paint nails for.
25. No test subject for hair and makeup.
26. Nobody to throw things at. 
27. Nobody to laugh at.
28. Nobody to laugh with.
29. Nobody to speak korean to.
30. Nobody to pretend to be koreans with. 

To be updated...

혼자서 너무싫어.


Friday, October 5, 2012


You've always been there for me, after 9 years (closing a decade!), and this is where we are today. Together, but apart. I love you and all that you are. :) You've been such a blessing in my life and I can't wait to have you in at least the same state.

p.s.: We must achieve that kind of friendship that makes everybody jealous of us. Heh. Putting in my list of things to achieve before I die, right now. 


언니, 안녕. 잘가. 

Catch me.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Rant post : WARNING.

I always have the tendency to blog when something very important needs to get done. "Important" is very subjective though, cause if it was that "important", I wouldn't have time to type this either. Last minute work, one of the best skills acquired by 21st century students. They should be proud of us.

Maybe its my mind playing tricks on me, but I really don't like this. Maybe its my consciousness telling me "No, you don't sit around all day and do research, that's not life for you." Of course, I have great respect for the people who are more than capable of doing research. It was never for me. 

Like people always say "you don't know what you've got till its gone." I see it now. But like I've mentioned before, I may not have loved CIMP passionately, I will always miss it. Surprisingly, the experience I have obtained from there, I cannot just take it as it never existed. I miss the fun stuff we used to do, the help we could still get from our teachers, their willingness to help us in the best way. Now, I'm not going to say that we were spoon fed all the way through, we had our own trials to go through. But the thought of having someone there that you can freely talk to, is great. Its comforting, its even motivating. 

I miss doing all those random presentations, as easy as they may seem now, it wasn't the case back then. We were equally stressed, and we had to prepare just as hard. I miss all those discussions we were freely able to have, those ridiculous debates laced with jokes and sarcasm, the word of praise and knowing smile that we did our best. I miss the random artsy stuff we had to make, the random games we play out in the hallway, the terrible group quizzes that gave such adrenaline rush. This.. this is cold, scary and lonely. If we didn't have each other's backs back then, we are pretty much on our own now.

Of course, I agree that the method works, that's why we still practice it until today. They say we don't know we can fly till they push us off a cliff. This cliff, its fatal. Maybe I'm just complaining. No, I am complaining. The education system that we are practicing, its really not practical. But what can I say? The choice is still mine.

I don't regret. I will pull through.

Oh God, I cannot fathom how many times I've already said this phrase, but here it is again. A new beginning. All over again. And again.. and again.. and again. Where's the continuity? 

When will I learn how to love? 
                                                                 When will it stop being tiring? 
                When will it be passion instead of chore?

I don't know who to tell, I don't know who to ask. And as usual, everybody just lets me do what I want. Doesn't anybody care that I'm wasting my life away? 

Random pictures time. 

예쁘 지? ᄒᄒᄒᄒ I look like a ghost haunting him.

Definition : A sensation of whirling and loss of balance, associated particularly with looking down from a great height, or caused by disease...

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