Still alive.

Friday, October 26, 2012

I have this crazy urge to be impulsive.

I want to do everything that I am not doing.
I want to take a sudden trip to anywhere, preferably not alone, but beggars can't be choosers.
I want to eat all the cakes, pastry, bread, pasta, junk food in the world and not give a care that I suddenly cannot fit into my jeans, losing my voice, or growing more pimples.
I want to learn pole dancing, tango, ballroom dancing, belly dancing, krumping (?) and every other kind of dancing, to realise I'm probably really bad at some, if not all, and hopefully pretty good at some.
I want to learn another language, Korean preferably, and speak it flawlessly; also hopefully never lose my English capabilities.
I want to take buy a one way ticket and fly to Seoul and hobo there for awhile because I have nowhere to go and no money to come back.
I want to do plastic surgery and prayerfully not regret it.
I want to dye my hair a different colour and not be discriminated for how weird it is.
I want to perm my hair into a big fluffy bunch and put flowers on.
I want to have money to perm or dye my hair. 
I want to wear heels everyday and not have my feet hurt in every way.
I want to possibly get flat abs without going to the gym.
I want to go out to places I've never been, do things I rarely do. First times are scary though. 
I want to quit my course and not feel guilty about it.
I want to be sure about my next step.
I want to know I'm not still suffering from identity crisis.

Yes, this is getting out of hand. I'm just complaining and whining in discontentment. I'm only giving excuses to cover my laziness and possibly incapability of chasing after something I want because its "impossible" to achieve. I'm just a mopy, unhappy, annoying little nineteen year old brat. I would like to say though, I am not spoiled. Maybe occasionally. 


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