Do not succumb.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

"Get off the roller coaster and take a plane instead. 
Then, you'll always fly high."

Still, so tired. Its all still quite overwhelming. I don't deserve all this. When one door closes, God opens many others. Point is, I am quite bad at making choices. I hate making these decisions. People get involved here, good, nice, kind, people. People who are so willing to give, so willing to share. What am I to say? I need to try harder.

I think I need to give myself a break. The post-meeting was uhmm.. not exactly how I imagined it to be. I can't really comprehend the situation, but I will stand firm with my decisions.

"I miss you, but I am not coming back."

Maybe I'm not as stone-cold as people say or think I am. I'm getting quite confused now. I was told that I am always a "NO" person, but even when I'm becoming a "YES" person, shit still explodes in my face. I can't care anymore, I'm sorry.

Some people have it, some people don't.


Sunday, February 17, 2013

Happy Valentines day! <3 b="">

Haha, do not be fooled by the post title. I did not celebrate Valentines this year. :D Let's talk about Chinese New Year instead. It's probably my most eventful CNY in awhile. 


Look at the harvest! I might have brought half of it back to Subang with me. Heh.

 After reaching KL, I uhmm. Drank bubble tea on my own and worked for the night, spent a long night out and then ummm.. sleep. I need so much sleep these days because all my sleeping hours are upside down once again.

Babies! Haha. I haven't been in contact with a baby for so long. Its so strange, but nothing's change. I'm still awkward around babies. I'd be happy to get out of babies' ways. They're all pretty happy babies,  playful, so young. Sigh. I almost forgot what its like to have no care for the world. Lucky babies.

I would say I had a lot of fun in Ipoh this time around, I laughed so much. I might have spaced out quite a lot too. I ate a lot. I didn't sleep a lot. Sigh. Some pictures.

It probably looks more painful than fun. Haha.

I don't think I am able to blog about the real things that have been happening. But, sigh. I still want to say that I know what I am doing, despite how others may see me. I know the line that shouldn't be crossed. This is a phase, it will end. In the meantime, lets see what more life can offer.

Give me time to figure what I really want. 
To figure what exactly am I feeling now. 
Because I honestly think its not very healthy to be feeling what I do.

"눈물이 차올라서 고갤 들어,
흐르지 못하게 또 살짝 웃어."

Why does it matter?

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Its been a strange January. I realized while I was looking through Facebook that I didn't take a single picture in 2013, 1st of January excluded. Well, pictures that were uploaded unto Facebook. Then you're probably wondering why I don't just upload some. Haha. It just doesn't feel right anymore. 

Lets hope February becomes a little less devastating. I want to upload this one picture that I didn't have a chance to take because the phone blacked out right before I could. T___T So depressing.  Otherwise, I think I really look forward to February. KOREA~~ Winter. :)

So, its February and I might have done some weird stuff. Not entirely negative. Just.. the tip of unwanted drama. For the lack of better word. Ohh, met up with sister's boyf. HEH. That was fun. I think. I had my hands on 3 Big Bang crowns, a new red skirt (in time for CNY), a pretty bracelet
and a new weekly planner for 2013. Which I might only be using in March. 

I haven't felt so loved since January in the last few days. Its strange, odd feeling, slightly foreign. Even Mummy went to buy train tickets for me and got me a ride back, despite how I have to miss work for 2 days. She never goes to get tickets for me, she just tells me to do it. And I spoke on the phone with grandpa, who's concerned I might die here in Subang. Well. The concern is mutual. I occasionally think I might die today every time I step out of the house. Sigh.

I think I'm just so used to being invisible that every kind gesture feels really big to me. There's been like a sudden wave of kindness directed at me and I have no idea what to do with it. :( Accepting seems to be a little... tough. But I don't think there's another way.

"We love because He first loved us."
1 John 4:19

 Haha, first appearance of Oppa. :D Maybe there'll be more to come.
오빠가 좋은걸. ᄒᄒᄒ

p.s. Both of you should come back fast. T__T

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