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Those three words.

Monday, April 29, 2013

 "...because of you."

Honestly, these three words are scarier than the other kinds of three words that people would think of when they hear 'three words'. Well, to me anyway. How can someone bear to be the reason of...anyone's anything? Of course, it could be a positive reason. I think perhaps I haven't heard any of those things for awhile now.

The things I've been hearing goes a little like...

"You make me feel like dying." 

"Why do you make my life so miserable?"

Uhh. I'm sorry? :/

 **************************

So, nothing has happened. Just felt like updating. This week's service was good. To quote my cell leader, "Its been awhile since I've heard a message that I just had to write down everything because every point was important." 

It was about relationships. Stop right there. I know what you're about to think. Heh. No. It is not about that kind of relationships. Its about our general relationship to people. The real transformation, of Christians, does not only encompass of a Christian's relationship with God. Real transformation happens when you bring the relationship you have with God, towards the people. Real people. Man to man. 

Its given that it is tremendously hard to love people. People who don't mean anything to you, people who have no relation to you whatsoever, and even harder to love people who hate you. But that's exactly what we are supposed to do. Why is it so hard to"have faith" in humanity? Because we don't see it, we don't live it. Okay, now I'm being ironic. Because, to have faith, is to believe evidence of things not seen. Things that are currently not... present.

And that is my problem. It is so hard to live with utter selflessness. Because, humans are self centered. When Adam and Eve first sinned, our focus was already lost. It wasn't on God, it wasn't on others, we only focused on ourselves. We find friends who suit us, make us better people, we marry people who can fit us, we only choose to love those that are easy to love.

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35-35

We have to love one another. Selflessly and sacrificially. And the final lesson learnt today for Christians: 

Stop convincing people.
Start loving people.

I have to learn to love people. I think I might have just tried to preach. But my
 ex-boyf's right about this. Practice what you preach. Sigh. I have much more growing to do, its a new battle everyday. 

Which brings me back to the recent drama. I am still on my life roller coaster ride. Sometimes I just stop riding for awhile to come down and puke, just to get back on it. And while I continue to do things that might just be slightly detrimental to my mental state, haters continue to hate.


I have to admit, I want this picture posted somewhere, probably out of spite. Just because you tell me I can't, I will show you I can. With some respect. And to avoid casting my drama upon innocent people. I will not forget the way he looked at me. I wish I didn't understand, I wish I could say that their resentment towards me was bullshit. But...I can't. Because I know what its like to be a friend. Because I know how to love a friend. 

 
I had a good night. Carefree. Sexy, free and single. Haha.  

I'd just like to say though. Mind your own business. *i'm already hearing all the whispers of 'my friend's business is my business' speech* Oh, suck it up and just move along.


"Just because something isn’t something, doesn’t mean that it’s nothing."

People have feelings, people get hurt. I am a person. I am a person, too. Just like everybody else. A little hard to process that sentence, isn't it? I guess sometimes its a little too easy to forget that when it comes to me.

Yeah, its a reminder to me on certain days too.


"....until we meet again."

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