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그때.

Sunday, July 14, 2013


"I remember that day so clearly, just like I remember the way your long fingers cover mine as you drive, one hand on the steering, one hand in mine. I never forget the left side of your face, the one I stare at everytime, from the passenger seat. I remember peering at the speed meter to make sure you were going at a safe speed. I remember the way I put my feet up on the seat and how you refused to let anyone else but me eat in the car. It was so precious to you, and at that moment in time, so was I.

I remember the day you held on to me so tightly as I tried to pull the gift you gave me off the wall. With every pull, the tape makes a snapping noise that makes us realize just how much we're tearing off from our lives. By the time I pulled off the last tape, tears streaming down both our faces, reminding us of all the hateful words we said to each other. I also remember how you were still slurring pained words as a reflection of the pain you were feeling. Trust me, the pain was mutual.

I remember the marks that was made on my wall, where your gift used to be. I did not feel the need to remove everything that reminded me of you out of my life, the way you felt like you had to. I covered the marks to make it look like its never there. But truthfully, I can never forget. There's nowhere to run to. 

Today, the same gift and the same marks are still at the same place. It looks like nothing has changed other than the dead flowers which I have thrown away without a second thought, only small, lingering, whispering reasons. Everyday passes in this place, I am so used to it all that I don't even notice the small, small things that remind me of you, yet the big, big things put a bittersweet smile on my face each time. Proudly, I will say, 'I'm getting there'."

, 

"You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my walk
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone." 

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