"Funny you're the one broken but I was the one that needed saving." - Stay, Rihanna
I've been living by that for awhile now, for as long as I remembered actually. There's no one's pain more painful than the other person's. So, don't forget to sometimes, just sometimes, see their pain too. Its so easy to forget, I know that. So easy. But, I think all we really need are honest words and open hearts and good communication. Even that is hard to do. Lessons to be learnt.
I think everyone deserves someone who loves to love them. Altruism doesn't exist, I had a big debate on that topic in foundation. Hah. I was on the opposing team and I was fighting for something I don't believe in. That only says two things, either I'm a really bad debater (which I am) or that the statement is true beyond any argument. I've done all the research necessary, looked for all the arguments that there are out there. But no matter what I read, I didn't believe it and I couldn't make myself believe it either.
"Altruism involves the unselfish concern for other people. It involves doing things simply out of a desire to help, not because you feel obligated to out of duty, loyalty, or religious reasons."
There are great people out there, many many for that matter. But nobody does something and expects nothing in return. Even if you didn't expect anything in return, what you get from it is intrinsic. Its like you do it because even if you're doing something for someone else's benefit, at your expense, you still get something in return. You feel better about yourself, you feel proud, satisfied at your own good work, you receive gratitude, kindness in return, the birth of a new friendship. Something. Somethings comes back to you, whether it was from that someone else or not. Does it mean that if you don't expect anything back but it comes to you anyway, that it is altruism? Nah. I think I'm writing way beyond my league right now. 끝.
Lets go back to what my main point is. My main point is actually, that people think love is altruistic. It isn't. If I was to be curt here, the only reason it isn't is just because altruism doesn't exist. I do believe, however, that everyone deserves someone who loves to love them, not just someone who loves them. You gotta love loving that person, it shouldn't feel like a burden, it shouldn't feel like a responsibility. You don't have to force yourself to love someone else. You either do, or you don't. What is it when they do it just because they have to, not because they love doing it? Love is not a job. Maybe a relationship feels like a job, maybe marriage feels like a job. Loving someone is not a job. It comes from the heart. So cliche, hah. Ironic. But love is also not black and white. There is no clear cut answers. What we can only do, is keep asking.
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7