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Loss.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

To continue..

Then I came back, spent way too little time thinking about which major to choose and.. that's that. While on the other hand, upon our return back to KL, we received news that my grandma was admitted into the hospital and she was in a critical condition. So there were a lot of trips to the hospital, a few scary phone calls. My aunt and the cousins came back from UK to see her. I think it was more like, to spend her remaining time with her. My grandma actually has stomach cancer and has been suffering from kidney failure. She's fought a long and hard battle and her time was up. 

Honestly, all I was thinking the whole time was "I don't want to attend another funeral"


On the 23rd of July 2014, in the morning, she has returned to the Lord. It was a painful loss at the end of it, despite it not being a shock. Knowing there was nothing more to be done and all we could do was just to wait for her time to come. Maybe a little bit of "I didn't take care of her more" or "I wasn't around enough and now she's no longer here". Arriving at the hospital, yet I didn't arrive with a hello.

The funeral and all, proceeded and it was a slow, sad experience. Despite all that, in the back of my mind, there was a small breathe of acceptance; that she was in a better place now, that she's no longer suffering. That's the most important part of it all. She's lived long, 87 years.

I miss her. But its okay. 



I think everybody should always remember how they were once loved. 
Back when you still knew that there's someone who loves you. 
That's the love you have collected over the years.

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