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In the arms of a stranger.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

I have cried an ocean for you but still your ship refuses to sail.
— Michael Faudet


Sometimes I find myself falling asleep with you in the back of my mind and then I dream weird dreams, all of it about you. I understand time needs some time to do its work, so I'm not complaining yet. One day when the dreams stop, I'm sure I'd probably still miss your face. 

I can do it.
I can do it.
I can do it.
I can do it.

Its been rather tiring lately, and I'm expecting worse to come later. The semester is slowly picking up. The to-do-list is getting longer and my head still can't find its way back yet. Ugh, the struggle is real. Trying to re-prioritize and put everything back in place. Trying to pull my head back to where I am right now, instead of where it used to be.

Distractions everywhere, all I'm looking for is a way out but every exit is just another entrance to another maze. Life is so interesting, all the people and all the lives and all the stories. See what I did there? The optimism I just tried to input into my head? Yeah, one step at a time. 


So, quick update. I've spent quite a bit of time with my lovely best friends, those two who came back Melbourne a bit... cute. Haha. 


My precious support system, the ones who listen and speak wise words and writes lists of bad advices. I love you guys.


Chinese New Year was a rather quiet one this time around, but I think I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. Its sort of nice, sort of peaceful. 

February was a crazy little month. Two months into the year and I'm still finding myself, now more than ever. It was a pretty busy month, I think I need to sit down and find some time for myself and clear up my thoughts again, put myself into perspective. Ugh, its like a someone just pressed the restart button.

I'm gonna bury myself in lots of work and see how the rest of March turns out. Also, in lieu of my recent life changing experience, I did one of the most cliche things also. 


Tried to change up my hair a little :D

Wasting away.

Monday, February 9, 2015

"How are you?"
"Sick of answering that question, but otherwise, like shit. How're you?"

Don't be confused by that quote, nobody's actually asking me anything but I still feel like shit anyway. I can't even decide whether I like it that way or not. My brain just sort of decided to die on me. 

When did it get so hard to be happy? On second thought, it was always hard. I just want it now more than I ever did before.

I'm expecting a series of emo posts coming, but I really still haven't figured out what to do with myself or my thoughts, or my lost pieces of a heart. Maybe there's nothing to say. Its true though, no amount of preparation will ever be able to prepare people for heartbreak.

I need a big, healthy distraction. This will be one hell of a terrible month.

I really miss my furball. 

"I do not feel ashamed"

Saturday, February 7, 2015

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way



I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

Recently I've been hooked on this song, Bitch by Meredith Brooks, because the word has been ringing in my head over and over again. Very, very brave song. Mmm.

On other news, the semester is finally beginning. I am returning once more as a full time student with an indefinite plan to continue as a part time worker. This will, once again, be one hell of a semester.

Let's go. 

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