So I'm here today. On a beach. On my own. With my own thoughts, the waves constantly pushing me back as I sit here with my phone in a waterproof case typing, real fine sand all over my bum and all I can think of is 'dammit I left my shades in the room, I wish I had it so i wouldn't be squinting at my phone alone in the sea.'
The view is amazing.
I'm having a better time than I imagined I would. Anyone who knows me would know that I don't like the sun, but here I am on an island far away typing this post under the blaring sun, sitting in the sea.
Recently I came to find that I'm getting more readers here. I could find it slightly "unsafe" now to write as honestly as I would. Surprisingly enough, I don't actually care anymore. The circumstances can't affect me much anymore. Earlier this year I said that I wanted to be bold, just say what's on my mind. I don't think I've been doing very well so far, but it's not too late to start. I'm getting there.
It feels like I've just reached a new level now, nothing's changed but that conversation really lifted some weight off me and confirms that I'm not really as crazy because I didn't make all those up in my head; the memories and all those hours of just having each other. I'm not sure if I regret it, maybe just slightly, knowing now that maybe I could have changed things, but also knowing that maybe this is the best case scenario for us. I'll still miss us, everything we were. But maybe now it's time for a new chapter.
Back here in Perhentian though, there's something to look forward to. Enough with the past.
I went snorkeling for the first time! Large bodies of water still terrifies me but I have to admit, the experience was so, so worth it. I saw a shark!
"From the day I met you, I know that I'll love you the day I die.
In my heart, I'll always be sure.
I'll never forget you.."