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Saturday, July 9, 2016

"You have to have courage to love somebody. Because you risk everything. Everything."
- Maya Angelou


 Hi there! From the realms of indefinite holidays and unemployment. In lieu of the new season of life, I decided to give myself a hair transformation (in hopes that it may also change my character, my future). It is now short, red and curly. Sounds like Ronald McDonald's hair, but definitely hotter. Hotter than your McD fries.

So, my results came out and I am officially no longer a student, officially graduated, officially unemployed, officially clueless about what to do with my life now. I am glad, I've survived what could be the last of my formal education with good enough grades. Would it be pompous to say that I'm proud of myself? Well, I am. Because despite what everyone sees, there was a lot of hard work, time, effort, sleepless nights and some breaking down to get to where I am today. Which isn't saying much, because I'm still as lost as ever. On a more positive note though, I made it. 

I've reached a point where I'm basically right in between feeling constant stress about not doing anything about my next steps in life, trying to enjoy just the temporary nothingness and extreme panic and fear for possibly for not having any future at all, because I have no idea what to do.

 Now I'm always in a state of confusion, trying to really decide what I want, if I'm willing to make those sacrifices, if it'll be worth it, if I will be happy, if I can really just accept and love, if I am even capable of love anymore.

The question that begs now: Is this enough? 

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