What is personal integrity?
I’ll define this from one of my favourite books.
1. conforming reality to our words”
2. being loyal to those who are not present”
-- Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Everyday, I need to try to convince myself that I do not want that. I don't. But I definitely do not want this too. Sorry, the whining is literally going to continue and continue because it's a daily struggle. I don't really want to 'shut the hell up and pull myself together'. I do that in real life, this is why this blog exists.
Integrity. Loyal to those who are not present. This hit me a little harder than I expected. In this definition, I'm wondering how much integrity do I have? I'm wondering if there are people who are even 'loyal to me' when I'm not present. I doubt. I wish I didn't, but I do. In my self reflection, I realize that this may not be something I fully practice, at least not to the extent that I wish I could. I don't think this kind of loyalty exists anymore in this time we live in. But that's just me saying that I don't have as much personal integrity as I wish I do.
I think the point of this post was that upon reading this, I remember these certain many times that I find out that the people whom I care for (who supposedly care for me too) have not been 'loyal' when I wasn't present and it just hit home a little. Home being the usual place of casual hurt and sadness.
Since when hurt became casual?
"Every night is a big blur
I can't get a hold of my temper
Ain't no one to depend on
I'm falling down and I'm holding it all by a thread now
This ain't my finest hour
Might see my flaws today
My words are out of order
Maybe my drink's to blame
Emptying all my pockets
'Til I don't feel a thing"
-- Cash Cash, Finest Hour
But most days, I am wondering 'what does it feel like to be in love?'
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