Journey with NLSN_MY.

"Now that you hear the story, are you going to stay?"

"Don't go, J."

"I don't want you to go." 

"Please don't go, Jill. Can't you just reject the offer?" 

The final plea has finally kicked in. Ugh, the horrible feeling of a sinking heart. I am more sad of leaving than to go. I have attachment issues, but these ones are legit. I am still proud to be a part of this company, I love the culture, I love the warm banters and the laughter.

4th October 2016 - 17th August 2017. 

It felt like just last week when I wrote a post about finding a job. Where did all the time go? What have I been doing? No doubt I worked a lot though, but I just feel some kind of emptiness there.

"I've never seen the client so happy since the time we started working with them." 

"You are very good at what you do."
"You have a lot of potential and I know you will succeed wherever you go."
"You will be missed very much."

At least I know I did my job. My client servicing job. I think its funny how we don't really know how people really see us until.. well, until we leave. I always felt that I was just kinda going through the motions, knowing what I need to do, and making sure I do it at the time I am required to. I am so relieved to find that my effort has been appreciated, and seen. As per the words of my deskmate, "this is a good note to leave on". I can finally say, I did something right.

"No one is going to ask me questions anymore when you're gone. I'm going to feel so useless." 

I don't have that many bosses to begin with, but he's definitely my favorite one. I think probably the favorite one of all time, because this is really quite hard to top. Oddly enough, he is the one I am going to miss the most. He was so, so funny, yet so smart. So generous and kind, so playful, yet so supportive. So much like a boss, yet so much like a friend. I have the utmost respect for him, yet I just think he is super cute. I think he liked me too. It sounds pompous for me to say this with my own mouth, but I think he did. And that makes me so much more sadder to go. How his first reaction upon hearing my news is, stunned and then "That's great! I'm so happy for you." and then "Oh shit.. now I gotta deal with all this." So endearing. I'm his number 1 fan girl now.

Kevin. My best friend in the office, my ever busy deskmate, yet endures my long stories and laughs at my pain. Listens for entertainment initially, then listens earnestly with compassion. Bad, bad jokes, but always cheering me up. No judgement, no filter, just the kind of friend I need, yet super crazy hard to find. Thank you for always having my back.

To the Tech/Telco team, I think it was a blessing that I joined this team. I know I always complain about not being able to choose which team I wanted to join, but I was always secretly very proud that they didn't let me choose because maybe they just wanted me in their team. Or maybe they were really desperate and nobody else could work quick enough with the 'expected salary' that I horribly quoted. I know I am writing this because I couldn't say this to their faces, but I hope they feel it. Maybe, they will know it one day.

To both my female bosses, so strong, so wise, so kind, also kinda cool, the experience was really something I would not exchange for anything. Two great mentors. I think they sometimes purposely play good cop, bad cop. I think I owe them couple of apologies for not doing good enough, but they always got me covered even though I should be the one who's got them covered. I sincerely wished I had more time to perform better, but you both left so suddenly. It is a little sad that I am following suit, but may our paths cross again when I am older, and just.. better.

To Mai, my other deskmate, always so kind, always offering me food, haha. I never worked with her, but maybe that's why she was more of a friend than a boss to me. The softest one, who's more affectionate with her words. Learning Chinese together, telling me about baking, online shopping, hair styles. I think she was happy to have a vainpot female in the team. She always complimented my clothes. *sobs* I remember when I first joined, she wasn't back from the holidays and we came out of the lift together, then we walked to our seats together, and was awkwardly introduced as deskmates. Ahh, memories. I remember the first time I met here like it was yesterday.

To the interns, I only managed to befriend one, but then I think I am envious of the internship experience. Makes me feel that I should have done it. Damn, I would have learnt so much and also made friends, and get to know bosses. I like the fact that they were young, makes it more comfortable talking, makes me feel young, hahaha. Rachel, was like the unicorn of the team. So capable, but still young and fragile. Reminds me a little of myself, makes me feel like an older sister, or just a good friend, connecting over boy talks and girl stuff.

"Ahh, my little sister is leaving."

To the 3 big brothers on the team, always just finding some ways to tease and bully me and at the same time offering the guidance and help when needed. I loved seeing you guys interact and laugh like children, and I miss having seniors to bother. I had limited interaction with the Norwegian boss, but he was always just around.. and so chill, so calm, easy to approach, always asking us to go lunch. Or else we never move. I'll miss saying goodbye to him everyday when he passes my seat to leave the office.

Special mention to the PM team, best support team ever. I don't know how other companies work without a PM because I think I would die without them. I am so dependent on them, and the two boys who worked with me on my long-term projects, thank you very much. For all the patience, the stupid mistakes, the guidance and just overall goodness while working on it with me. Please know that you are much appreciated. To the youngest manager of the team, thanks for those little conversations and for being friends with me in general.

And to my girls, for just being there generally. Getting known as the 'best friends' in the company and then conveniently named "Mafia Princesses". I think we shook the company for awhile, haha. Never imagined that we would all be in the same place. Missing all those lunch dates and the Korean conversations, for bringing me to your side of the wing and introducing me to everyone. I just love having a crew there, love you guys to bits.

Who knew that I would finally be able to find a Jack there as well? He gets an honorary mention just because his name is Jack, haha. For all the Jack and Jill jokes we had to endure, it definitely built a little bond between us. And to the CG brothers, for showing me so much kindness and support and genuine friendship, God has blessed me through you all. You all thought me love and compassion, and what it means to be a child of God.

Quick shout out to the cool kids (?)... gangsters (?)... of the RMS, I have no idea what to call them, lol. Thanks for extending the honest conversations and funny banters, for introducing me to Kronenbourg 1664 Blanc and the interesting drinking sessions. Not so cool with the mouse ears now, eh? The power of being the one who leaves. *wink wink*

I'm going to miss walking that long hallway, halfway through, to my seat. Always looking out for the bosses heads hiding behind the divider boards. Miss walking across the bridge to cross over for lunch, maybe even miss jaywalking across that crazy busy road in a flock. Miss those little meeting rooms, the one where I first stepped into for my interview. Realizing how blessed I am after all this time being there, that they hired me without me doing anything more. I'm going to miss all the pantry talks and the awkward parting back to our respective desks. Miss walking down the stairway to the floor below with the laptop in one hand. I think I can go on and on, but let's not.

I've had so much drama in this one place, but then again, where exactly would I be that has no drama? Haha. There was so much lows, followed by some highs. I really thank God for the favor from men, which is exactly what I prayed for. I really wonder what it would be like now, to be somewhere else, doing something else, I do. But I also, from the little corners of my heart, wishes I could be here, doing this. Just a little. A little more than a little.

I love each and everyone of you. What a journey it has been.