Phantom of the Opera. No comment. Lol. I dunno what to say, its just.. like that la.

OH WELL. 4 years.

Change.

is.

good.

************

Today. SIGHS.

1. I finally finished my oral which i have memorized everyday for 2 weeks straight just to forget half of it when i was actually speaking. =.=

2. Now there's BM lisan. That one is a definite phail.

3. Mid year is coming sooo fast.

4. I'm scared.

5. I'm tired.

So anyway. Went for tuition. He came half an hour late. And then when class ended, he wrote a memo for me. It goes like this :

"Pls pray for Madam Wong Siew Yeen (Mr. Alex Wong's wife). She just gone through the back bone operation (slip disc). Pls pray for speedy recovery and God healing onto her left leg. Cause left led got no strength. Pray for God mercy on my son, David Wong cause mummy cannot take care of him."

All i could do was smile and wished he feels better when he wrote it. When i got home and read it again, tears filled my eyes. SIGHS. I wish there was more i could do than pray. But i guess for now, it's the best anyone can do.

OHHH. The memo's not for me la. Its for me to pass it to my church's pastor because Mr. Alex knows that our church has prayer meetings and asked me to pass the note for prayers.

AHH. My baby's hair SO CUTE. I'm gonna tie my hair like this from now on. LOL.

I believe in miracles.

So wrong.

Today was a blog-worthy day. And therefore, here i am. Lol.

Oh well. For the first time, school on Saturday was actually OKAY. Just okay. The fact that its a Saturday brings it down a lil.

School was.. liberating.

HAHA. Yeah well. Just.. free. So it was a good start to my day. Towards the end though, i'm not too sure. Sigh.

Went to church after school and for the first time in a long long time, we played games. Lol. I just realised there's a lot of firsts-in-a-long-time-things that happened today. It was.. bleh. Haha. No lah. The games were fine. Got us warmed up for p&w. && the highlight of the service was that P&W was actually more ALIVE since a long long time. It felt good. Too bad i had to leave early.

So. Went to ACS. For the first time in a long time (i'm not sure there was actually already a first time or not) and did nothing. NOTHING. I just stood around the whole 3 hours. Walked here and there staring at ppl staring back at me because they think i'm weird and alone and wotnot.

Too bad no pics and probably won't have any at all. =

AND. I saw a lot of ppl i haven't seen in a long long time. I don't even know if i'm supposed to feel good about things like that. *slaps self* Sighs.

WSGESRHJSFMNLTNF>NGNLEJMDBFMLBNMLDMLNFNLMFNDLMCONR.

ISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. OKAY.

Now i'm prepared for 2moro.

No use, i give up.

Gone.

I've decided to stop blogging for awhile. No specific reason.

Just. stop.

For awhile.

I will get back i suppose. When my blogging-ness comes back to me.

After mid year, during hols maybe? I just don't have time to actually sit here and type out my thoughts for now. And if i actually did, this blog will end up very mobid.

Or maybe i'll just go back to my other blog which noone reads for now. I miss it. :)

Until then..

My band + Bong Ajumma says GOODBYE.

It's currently 12.10. Sorry its late but..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOEVY!

My whole post shall be pink today.

<3

***

During moral..

"What did she do?"
"I think she chopped off his dong dong."
"Did she put salt?"

Hahaha. Now i'm off to drown myself in AddMath and a million other non-finished homework. Sigh. Procrastination has gotten the best of me.

Forever you're my girl.

Saturday. BLAH. I woke up at 6 freakin 45. Reached school at 7 freakin 45 when the thing starts at 9 freakin o' clock. Bla bla bla. I dunno. For the first time in my life, i was on stage during worship. Lol. Do LCD. And i noticed one thing, when i was up there, i had no idea whether the worship was good or not. Cos all the faces staring at me had the same expression : NONE.

And i just don't understand. How can ppl still not know how to do roll call and dismissal? We'e done it SO MANY TIMES. But still, everytime we do it, i'll still here ppl going "Say up. Say up again." or "Look to the left." or "Only first row raise your hands." We've repeated it and repeated it. Takkan after 2 weeks then forget already right? Maybe you need some 'help' then. This is totally irrelevent but its so just so annoying. I mean, even when i was a new member, after doing it twice, you just automatically remember it, right? Apparently not.

Forget it. So after the meeting ended and my mum was coming late. And ezz left.

*silence*

Suddenly, text arrives. "T.T SORRRYY" (lol at my deskmate)

*look for car, or more like PRETEND to look for car*

*TaeYang's 'Look at me only' blasting in my ears*

*silence*

*silence*

and more *silence*

"BYE."

"Bye."

I'm sorry its still so awkward. But this was much better than a few months ago. Praise the Lord!

Sunday. Was forced to go to church. The drumming ppl were so cool though. And the main dude looked like Justin Timberlake. Haha. The sermon was exceptionally looong :

I have a friend who doesn't tell me anything.

*ahemahem*

If you're my friend, I'll tell you everything.

L to R : Gurchi a.k.a the church leader that texts me every Saturday morning at 8 to remind me to go to church, Me, Joan, Kristal.

And lastly, I always knew he was sexy but not THIS sexy. *huge grin*

Whee. I'm back. I'm just sooo lazy nowadays, i don't blog. But i dont usually get the chance to because something will sure come up. And today, i'm so lazy so i wanna type in broken english. For once, i must not care. So just ignore all the random grammar mistakes. 

School's been really long these days. Everyday its just ADD MATH ADD MATH ADD MATH. 

During BI, do add math. During BM, do add math. During Bio, do add math. I practically spent the past 2 days doing add math and then smacking myself in the head for not seeing where the stupid point is or NOT READING THE QUESTION. That is one of my main HUGE reason why i keep failing my papers. =.=

Forget about school. Despite how i do not have anything else happening except school. Ooohh. Today i went for Physics tuition and it was so scary i tell you. There was sooo many ppl there and there were a few guys standing at the table so i cudnt go and pay. Anyway. After paying.. 

"So where's the class?"

*points to the class at the back*

*deskmate and i turn back to look* 

and we both had the same face on :

(O.O)

The class was like.. FULL. OF. PPL. Extremely scary looking. And then we both turned around to look at the girl and she was like "No, not now. Afterwards." Gosh i was like so scared. After standing around for awhile, the class emptied out. And when we went in, only about 15++ ppl were in it. Thank God. I never thought i'd be so scared to see so many unknown ppl. LOL. 

Does this mean i somewhat know myself better now? not. 

You see. Everyday there are these lil small things that reminds me that i HAVE TO be a NICER person. Today at Chem..

"Just now i was asking ppl how to do the experiment, right. And then the RCL said 'you're so friendly, not like them."

WHAT? WHY? I'M NOT UNFRIENDLY. 

Okay. That was me being in denial. But then again, i'm sure its not THAT bad right? wrong. 

Aishhhhh. These small things that doesn't bother the rest of "them" actually bothers me. Blehh. I need to pray. 

Oops. I didn't realise the post got so long. OOOHHH. My aural. Gah. Its gonna be so terrible. 

Did you know that Elvis Presley died while sitting on the toilet bowl, naked, reading newspaper? Exactly. 

You're my lollipop. 

If you listen to the rythm of the pouring rain.

Hello. 3 days of school. Whole lot of results. And nothing to say about it. Suprisingly, i don't feel anything about my results because i didn't actually expect anything in the first place. Although i do feel like hitting myself on the head a million times for making the STUPIDEST mistakes of all mankind. Blehhhh. Takpe. It's done.

People say : "Don't expect and you won't hurt."
And some other ppl say : "Have high expectations, that way you will push yourself further."
So which exactly am i suppose to follow?

Moving on. I've been listening to Lee Hom's new album. Its been out for awhile, in my comp for quite some time, but never heard. So i finally decided to and well, it's.. different.

His music is still awesome.
His vocals are still awesome.
His lyrics are still even more awesome.
He just choose a different way to express it.
A weirder way. But still good.

It went from "Kiss goodbye" to "What's up with rock?" Drastic change, hard to adapt to for now. But i'm already getting used to it. Glad to know that i still am a Lee Hom fan. Of his songs anyway. Lyrics are awesome.

"How many question marks can fit into two hearts?"
or
"No matter how many tomorrow it takes, forever starts now."

Hmm. Looks kinda weird now. But i assure you, it sounds sooo much better in mandrin. (:

Now. Some Lee Hom spam if you don't mind. Hee.

The Handsome.


The Sexy. LOL.

The Dorky.

*******************************

DC Camp 09'. My group presenting Task 2 if i'm not mistaken. Lol at Nicky. Present also must stand until like that.

Now. Back to my VIP self. HEART Campaign. <3


Lastly..

SUPPORT EARTH HOUR! I'm probably gonna end up sitting on the couch staring into space in the dark for one hour. Just because Mother Earth needs us. Whee. Make a difference.

I suddenly understand the shapes of the clouds.

You the leader.

I'm finally back from camp. I STILL don't feel good and i don't feel bad. But i'm glad to say that i think there's been some kinda change in me? 

No. 1 fact ppl just HAVE TO know about me : 

NEVER. EVER. touch my head unless i give you permission to, which is unlikely. I become very.. inhuman. This applies to everyone except SOME certain ppl and there's really not many out there :)

The camp was.. good. Just not fun. But still good anyway. It requires a whole lot of mental strength and thinking skills. Which i obviously don't have. But the one thing i realised, no matter how much i don't like talking in front of ppl or speaking public-ly, i can actually do it. Yes, my hands will shake and i get really jumpy before i go up, but right after i stand there, i don't feel anything anymore. I'm not even sure if that's good or bad. 

We had lotsa tasks to do. Mostly involving business, marketing, finance, stock market, lawsuits, hospitals and etc. All of them were pretty hard and we just kept making random stupid mistakes and the worst part is waking up at 5 something to get all of the stuff done. My face, tak boleh save dah. 

My group name : Anglicisme (which most ppl had a hard time pronouncing, eg : my group leader) LOL. It means leader in French. All of the sermons are about leadership. Being a leader is both easy and hard. Seriously. If i were given a choice, i would never choose to lead. But since we were all choosen, there's actually no choice. FINE. 

GO ANGLICISME! :) 

I suppose overall, the camp was considerably awesome. I don't know how or why i always give the impression of being cold. I'm not REALLY. I just can't show it. Sorry lah, i was born like this. Either way, i probably will start making an effort now. 

Autographs and wishes : See those bananas up there, from Fredson. It say "Banana good for health." And Ben Ooi, that big J and squigly line that i suppose shud be my name althoug i'm still not sure. And the rest, noone needs to know. Hee. 

LOL. The biggest one : "Hi chilly (JOSIAH), random smiley faces. And there's this other one that says "Don't belagak la.". And from Ben 10, "Woohoo!" HAHA. From Nicolas (your best groupmate) that is really what he wrote, not me : "Me rock! YAY! You are fantastic REALLY." 

Weird, nice ppl. 

More random pics with me looking terrible from camp coming soon. 

TO KRISTAL : My theories are ALWAYS right. again. Best of luck in handling ALL these issues. again. 

i miss him. 

ah, i hate this so much. 

stoopid fella. 

*********************************************

Decided not to go to KL. Waste my time, go there become kuli only. No need. I'm sorry to say that i cud care less that you're moving and i have no intentions on going down for 2 days just to hep you carry and move stuff around. This is not me being mean. This is me being realistic. And maybe a lil sarcastic. 

Come and go.

HOLIDAY! My best friend, you finally came. I missed you. =/

2 hours of sleep everyday. No internet. No TOP. No Jun Pyo. No BigBang. No TV. No rest. Just books. Its all over and i actually don't feel any better. I can say that i've tried my best DOING THE PAPERS but i didn't even try STUDYING. In other words, FAIL.

Right now. I have dark circles and eyebags worse than SeungRi's.

I know this is a lil late but..

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL SPM-ers, regardless how many a's you got!

I actually have nothing much to blog about since this whole week was all exams and i bet nobody wants to know bout MY exams; i've got nothing to say anyway.

Gah, DC in 2 days. And this is what i plan to do.

1. SLEEP FOR THE NEXT 12 HOURS.
2. Attempt to fix my face (those who see me everyday will undertsand)
3. Get back to YOUTUBE asap!
4. Get thinner. (everytime exams come, i get fatter. Reason : i eat every single minute i study. even with the stress, i still gain weight. weird, isnt it?)

So now i'm gonna head off to finish all the things in my list. Maybe when i come back, DC will be over and i'll be somewhat changed.

"A man's word is his bond."

Sports day is finally over. I feel like I need to get away from marching and the field for a long long time.

Just as I hope to get back to my life, exams come along. Right after sports day, there's exams pulak. Gah. I'm so tired, I can't even focus for more than 10 minutes. Study you say? IMPOSSIBLE.

Okay. Back to sports day. As expected, we didn't win. I'm more happy for nightingale than sad for gb, I'm sorry. Screamed half the time. Won quarter of a cup of milo from winning a bet. Seriously, never go against my observation skills. Although none of these skills are applied in any of my science subjects. Sighss.

Just signed up for camp. I'm still quite freaked out about it, but there's no turning back now.

Before I go on a mini hiatus (like everyone else), in church..

Be a PIG, die to self.

Must be addicted to studying. And kpop. (:

I share the same birthday as Lee Hyori.

I'm not being random. I'm just BoF deprived.

):

Dye.

Some random pic taken after the Peace Forum. And yes, i went to a PEACE Forum. Well. Technically, i was only there for.. 15 mins ++ And that's enough of world peace for me. I'm sorry all the kids in Africa and wherever, i'll pray for you? =/ 

STUDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Bye bye. 

***********************************************

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY, JO! 

ilu <3 

So does JaeJoong. 

Here it is.

THE TAG. Just another reason to pic spam. 

1. Provide pictures and the names of 3 people.

2. Label which you would Marry, Fuck, and Kill.

3. Comment to this and I will give you 3 people, only if you ask in the cbox though since half the world has already done this hee

4. Post this meme with your answers.

JILL HEATHER- Choi Seunghyun, Kim Sang Bum, Kang Daesung

As predicted.. 

Marry : Choi Seung Hyun <3 Kinda obvious, isn't it? 

Fcuk : Kim Sang Bum. Nobody needs a reason to do him :) 

Kill : Gawd, i'm so sorry DaeSung. When you're in heaven, i hope you meet my soon-to-be-dead-friend, Joanna Lee.

Don't smile at me like that, you're breaking my heart. Iloveyousomuch. Really. 

Notice all the flowers? I just had to marry the most bad-ass one. ;)

No really, i'm not emo.

HAHAHAHA. I'm sorry, thats just about all i can do.

----------------------------------------------

Spending a whole night in the dark and losing everything i ever worked for in ONE day.

Not bad.

Uhhh. I cannot comprehend how much i want to cry right now.

Whatever right?

-----------------------------------------------------

I should probably always type more but i need to go like.. drown in my sorrows for a moment. Maybe the next post wud be just a lil more.. than this.

MAYBE.

Although. I just went blog-hopping (as Ez calls it), and i was thinking. Isn't it nice to know someone out there it thinking bout you? Preferably korean.

I'm not sorry.

Today's my 'mean day'.

Payback? Maybe.

***************************************

"EEEII! *points at me* YOU! Eh, *taps shoulder of another person* you know who she is ah?"

"Hello Jill."

That was sooo awkward. Lol. One so loud, suddenly one so.. formal.

Sports Day at ACS is very astounding and really traumatizing. They run. Very fast. Lol. Its probably normal and im just not used to it. But seriously. SO FAST. Compared to someone as slow as me. Haha.

*************************************

SO CUTE! *giggles*

Nobody shud know what i'm talking about. And this is not korean. Unfortunately.

No questions asked, no lies told.

My white white heart.

I wonder what that means in literature form.

Perhaps its not too late for a valentine pic? :)

Today's sports practice nearly killed me. And my prediction really came through. LOL. ZERO. Wheee. But it started pouring when i was about to go get my 3rd and last zero. Hmm.

My mum came and fetched me to this huge house while i was unaware. And then there i was. Blowing heart shaped balloons for my baby. He just doesn't know it. Yet.

Aish, i'm still dying and i hate doing presentations. ONE REASON : I do not speak in front of a class. I'll die. My lack of public speaking skills will get me nowhere in life. =/

Go away.

Happy Belated Valentine's Day! <3

Yeah, i'm one day late. Lol. Sorry, blog. Uhh well. It was a insignificant day for me.

Sorry for the lack of posts.

I've been busy being busy from being on my way to hell.

I wonder if anyone understands that sentence only reading it once. I had to say it out loud twice to get it right. Maybe thats just becos my brain's been working slower and slower each day.

Uber depressing. And its going to get worse.

No mood to blog cos i need to get back to YouTube. I spend hours EVERYDAY there now and its bugging me so much that i am SO addicted. Gah, stupid Kim Bum.

You don't know what it means.

This is it. For real.

I shall think about 'it' for 10 seconds a day so that i may never forget.

Never did i imagine that going through this again would be this hard.

I shall overcome.

How, you ask?

"I hate this place and the ppl suck so bad."

Denial. That's how.
I finally gave up.

Happy now?

All about me.

Due to my deskmates request, i shall blog. But.

There will no proper update for like.. a long time. Because school is killing me along with everything else that comes with the word S-C-H-O-O-L.

I just want to sleep and MAYBE never wake up. But thats not until i meet..

Lol. I present to you BANG*S. As in there's supposed to be a star in between the g and s.

I'm sorry, i can't even make up a proper sentence now and my face hurts from smiling so much for the past 3 hours. I never knew smiling can be so tiring. Now i shall run off to bed and maybe a lil more smiling time for me. Wheee.

I never knew i'd find a love so true.

Changed?

Woke up late with a msg telling me that she wasnt going for training. I debated with myself on my bed for like.. 13 minutes.

"Should i go?"

"My bed feels so awesome right now."

*Imagines how its like at training*

"But i have to go myself."

"Its not like you've never been b4."

*falls asleep again*

"Ahh. Training."

*gets off bed*

(note that this whole conversation was only between me and myself, LOL)

So. I went for training. ALONE.

It was considerably terrible. Sighssss. I wanna kill you, Wailynn. =/

I feel like crying and smiling at the same time. Lol. Just one sentence says it all :

Life size doraemon pingpong machine.

HAHAHA.
"It" was annoyingly nice i actually slapped myself to stop smiling. "It" looked at me weirdly and then ignored me. Blehh. To clarify, we were getting this one on one coaching from "it". Not the coach. Chehhh. What kinda coach is that. Nvm la. I've realised that they always argue because of me. I feel so bad right now. But i didnt say anything also, not my fault right? =/ SIGHS.

B4 that, i played with that girl la. Ish. She was in this weird mood. Technically, she was in a good mood, but she was playing terribly. Like it was on purpose. The whole hour i told myself "Patience, Jill." And then i turn around with a composed face.

My mum conviniently pointed out that i didn't know anyone there.

"So nobody talked to you today?"

"No."

"So if your friend come only then she talk to you la?"

"Yes."

"Cheh. Go there one whole year already, still don't know anyone there."

"Noo. Its hard for them to talk to me and i also dunno how to talk to them."

"Can talk to me then why cannot talk to them?"

(note that this whole conversation was conducted in cantonese)

"Don't want. They must not know that i speak chinese."

Ish. How nice of her. Blek. So now, i've decided to go on this cantonese-speaking frenzy. I know its actually not possible. I'll probabably only last like.. 10 minutes. Or less. LOL. Doesn't mean i can't try.

*******************************

Went to church yesterday. Ps. Angela preached. SIGHS.

*slaps self*

I need to change. ALOT.

ALOT.

Back to school. Depressed immediately.