I suddenly lost all the Christmas spirit and its only 2 days to Christmas spirit. T_T



Oh well. I like big teddy bear, their arms specifically.

Sometimes change is.. good.

Last day at school. Slightly nostalgic about it. But, life goes on.

I'm probably gonna start or umm.. continue crazy blogging. Like i mentioned (to nobody, and since nobody reads this, i think thats alright too), i am trying to get a life back. I'd like to think of it as continuing it after putting on halt for a long time. Nevertheless, the fear of it is still getting to me.

I.. changed. I might not like saying it, but i always believe in admitting the truth. I'm probably still never going to be the same again and the thought of it is just so surreal. I didn't notice i'd been in denial for that long.

Life changing experiences, I'm looking for you. Come find me now, i think i'm ready to take another step forward.

Finally.

Today while i was alone (again, as usual), I guess it didn't feel so fine anymore. I don't even know if that's a good thing, its been too long. I feel.. old. Its like i lived life for too long, died and floated around or something. I really don't make sense nowadays.

Sighs.

2.

I think my brain's dying everyday.
Oh well, i don't need it much now, do i?

(: Freedom.

1.

i'm right there at the edge of the world
thinking maybe i should turn around
pinky promises and things to want
thinking maybe its okay to fall
reaching just a lil higher
falling just a lil further
thinking maybe i'll get there someday
future is once again blurred
the words of a sinner
sorry i couldn't do better
losing a quarter
hopefully never
don't miss this now
yesterday's gone
thinking maybe,
maybe its time to breathe
will i be alive tomorrow?

And sleep. Whooo. I just came up with a random poem. Read carefully and maybe it'll make sense. Didn't know i could come up with things like things. Maybe i should try again. Soon.

내일?

매일 죽어가는 느낌, 나.
언제?
혼자.

23.

Take my hand we walk into the battlefield together.

Price i'm willing to pay.

What for?
Take chances and don't look back.

사랑인가?

I love him; pink, weird and all that.

생일 축하해, 오빠야.

Chances.

God is good, always. Fullstop.

찾았다.

17th October 2010. I finally saw and heard the legendary and pretty awesome 동방신기, even if it was only 3 of them I'm all for the 5 or nothing thing, so their still very much 동방신기 to me with a different name.

JYJ. I'm not a fan but i'm proud of them.

I don't regret going but i do regret wearing heels this time. I took them off the second i reached my seat in the stadium. I wish i was a tad bit nearer but its alright. They were all happy and all cause apparently Jaejoong was in a terrible mood the day before, its good to see them smile, although i think only Jaejoong smiled once. It was blindingly beautiful, of course.

The crowd was so.. despondent. I don't know. Weird. Maybe i expected more. Why am i always at the side of the stadium where the crowd is just.. not responsive. Chihh. 재미없어.

As if this needs to be stated at all, they sounded so good live and danced well. Jaejoong was being such a tease with his hips (LOL i can't believe i'm saying this), Yoochun and his english, Junsu and his voice. It was all good.

(:

Fools,

we are.

a pretense that no human is selfish,
that they all care for each other.

결혼 했어요.

They look so perfect for each other, its kinda hard to believe. That's my uncle. That's his high school sweetheart. They got married. (:



엄마와 언니 함께.





And so, my cousins came back.



The bride. 행복죠.

"We're happy together. Let's spend the rest of our lives together."

Someday. Someday those words might just come from me. LOL.
Yeah. I'm still dreaming, I know.

Only one name.

If I were to jump off a building, it has to be a really tall one;
so the fall would be longer and I can feel like I'm flying for just a little while.







.

Mission complete.

I've always wanted to try this night shot thing for a long time.
Or rather since Big Bang TV.
And now i have.
(:

박수.

This is way overdue but this was the opening of Lost World Hot Spring & Spa. And the bright light is the fire breather. It was really hard getting a shot of him fire breathing. Lol.


Before we uhh.. sneaked in. ᄏᄏᄏᄏ


The first single picture I've taken in a loooong time.


With mummy. Who was bouncing to the beat. Lol.


Beach Party at Lost World. It was filled with half naked, smoking and drinking dudes and girls in bikini. Hmmm. Yeah. Who knew Ipoh had this many ppl.

I should really stop going to Lost World. Blehhh.

The world.

Lol. Today. One 아저씨 said to me.

"A word of advice. Don't like a guy who uses an umbrella."

After thinking about it for awhile, I agree. (:

Be sick. Be loved.

I broke my own record today.
17 hours.
That's double normal sleeping hours.
I didn't even think that was possible.
I didn't know life was this tiring.

Run.

Our other quarter was not here today.

Just kids.

Its just gotta go on hold for awhile.
Let me breathe again.

It's been an interesting weekend.

Went to Penang, shopped a little, kinda hurried, ate subway, walked around and came home. No sleep. Wrong time, insomnia. Just wrong. It was much more interesting but i'm running out of words to say already.

I have no idea why it says 'Lover's Bridge' and then i♥u dad at the bottom. Ipoh needs more places like these. And that is my mum's photo taking skills which basically mirrors my sister's : NONE. ᄏᄏᄏᄏ Try to spot us.


Tried on some varied amount of dresses. I need to stop taking terrible pictures. Eeeeshhh.


Behind the gates of the Tiger Valley in Lost World. Which is not technically not allowed.


Tiger cub. It's 42 days old and apparently still scared of things. Still nameless, sadly.
Its such a furry sweetheart.


Once in a lifetime. Maybe, just maybe,
if there's another chance, i'd consider the snake. ᄒᄒᄒ


****************


We sat around, laughed, talked, cooked, drank, laughed some more, watched, laughed again.
고마워,친구야. I lurve you guys.

대박.

생일 축하해, 기범오빠.
I love you even though you have hair longer than mine,
even though you're too busy acting as a ghost,
even though you get a lil fatter,
even though you don't talk,
even though you don't do anything in general,
even though you've been missing forever,
I still love you.

난 아직도 오빠를 사랑해.
♥

Happy 4th Anniversary, 빅뱅 오빠들이!
I believe you guys are different and will last for.. a long time. (:
빅뱅 영원히~!

Languagesth>ko GoogleCE

빅뱅.