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Monday, January 28, 2013

I'm sorry. 

I am a terrible person, I do terrible things.
I am selfish and cruel, I don't know how to comfort people.
I don't say much, I don't do much.
Maybe you'll forgive me one day.

Don't regret, self.
26/1/13

You're welcome.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Blogger has been messing with me for weeks now. Today is the first time I've ever successfully uploaded a picture despite all my previous trials. I think there's much to update. To start of, boyf and I (with his friends) went on a mini vacation to Malacca where we did...nothing. But eat. I've finally walked on Jonker Street and eaten the famous chicken rice ball. 


They gave us 5 balls. Haha. It wasn't all that great. I like rice. I like normal rice. Like... rice. But not in a ball. 

Then uhmm... I got a job? I can officially say I have worked in the service industry now. Yay. I've been waitressing at The Street Cafe or also known as Korean Food Street? What. I don't remember. I clean a lot of tables, try to carry the very heavy bibimbap pot with one hand. If that pot is not burning my fingers, the metal lunchboxes do, and if that doesn't, the soup bowl does too. T___T My fingers are all sore and burnt by the end of the shift. I get people they're tissues and I bring them their tea. 

Working with foreign workers this time around (when I used to be the foreigner in Spore) is quite different. They are so hardworking! And so nice. :/ Too nice. They help me alot and in return, I do everything they tell me to. They give me food, and more food, and make me wash glasses. Hmmm. Oh well. This is a new journey. I do wish it passes soon though, I don't know how people can do this for such a long time.

On one random Thursday where I was working, I got a call from Andrew, who offered to give me 4 free tickets to We Love Asia Music Festival @ Sepang (thank you, Andrew!). I didn't even know what it was, but since Kristal's bday was coming up, and she was down for the weekend, I thought maybe this could be something new. Its definitely new to me. I've never heard so much house/trance/electronic music for so many hours consecutively in my life. 


I saw Red Foo, from LMFAO and uhmm... a variety of other DJs, and of course the apparently famous Steve Aoki. When doing "I'm sexy and I know it", they actually took off their pants and wriggled around in their shiny underwear. That was something I wouldn't forget. Heh. That was fun. 

Then, when it was midnight, we not so secretly brought out a cake for Kristal. :D 


And on Monday, I went to work, went home in a drizzle, got ready and went to celebrate her birthday with who else but the other 0.5 of our 1. 



Happy Birthday, love. I'm not sure if you'll ever see this. But I'm really grateful that you're in my life and gave me the honor of spending your last day being a teenager with me. Hehe. You're always the first to grow older, but always somewhat the younger one to me. I pray that we will be able to spend many many more birthdays together.  
사랑한다, 친구야. ❤❤❤

Beat it.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Warning: Random. 

What is this.
WHAT IS THIS. 
Why? Why?

No. I didn't expect it at all. I didn't see this. What am I looking at? 

I was so hellbent on not doing well, maybe with the possibility of comforting myself that this is not for me. That maybe, just maybe, its okay to run. Where am I running to with this? There's nowhere to run. Is this God speaking to me? What are You saying? I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. 

You know what this tells me? This tells me that what everyone says is right. That all I am is book smart. I'm nothing else. That's all I'm made of, that's all I am. It always just looks as if this is all I'll ever be. 

"It just means that you can survive whatever." 

Great, just great. I will definitely start going around, tossing myself in every ocean possible, to see which one I'll drown in. 

**********************

Despite all the things that come out of my mouth, those words are laced with eternal gratitude to God and all the people who pushed me forward despite my constant running and hiding. 

I can't even lift my head and say that I deserve it, because I don't think I do. Sure, I've suffered through all of it, barely pulling through, I've had countless sleepless nights and sad attempts at studying. I just can't say I've done my best, because I know I didn't. Yet God gives me the best. I'm so undeserving. 

"When nothing happens, have faith."

I still hate studying. I do. I will. 

*********************

Hey, you. Yeah, you. You were wrong. I could do it. And I did. Lets stop comparing, we're in different leagues. Aren't you tired?

And you. I said I'll show you that you need me, not the other way around. I don't think I'll be around much longer, too bad. 

So, yes. Have a good new year. 
Or a great one. Or many.

New Year Eve's.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

The beginning of 2013. 

I was glad to have my bestfriend and boyfriend with me. Along with a bunch of acquaintances. 


New year, new start? Meh, I say that every year. I didn't even manage to make time to think of any New Year resolutions. I thought I made some good ones last year. But I'm not even sure if I actually did them all. 

I want to do so much this year, I want to be...different. But then again, change comes when you least notice it. Next thing I know, I'm an entire different person. 

I guess I need to learn to hold my tongue. Not be antisocial? Or selective-social? Make friends? Keep friends? I want to do all of it. I want to build a stronger relationship with God. I want to learn the Word. I want to live by the Word. I want to travel. I want to get a degree, dammit. Hopefully, I'll really be on my way to getting one this year. Maybe if my addiction to the Internet , my studies and my relationships allow, I would like to get a job. I want that number in my bank account to continue increasing. I want to be pretty. Hah, vain talk right there. 

I want to be happy. 

God bless 2013.

Review.

Its now the second day of 2013. I have successfully turned my whole sleeping hours upside down again. I think it really bothers me but I haven't devised a plan to fix it...yet. Sigh. To start of the year, I'm still pretty much aimless. This cannot go on! But this post is not about that, its about 2012. 

2012, the year where the world was supposed to end but didn't.


So I tried to look pretty for the New Year, and I really want to perm my hair. #justsaying 

Lets take a step back. What did I do in 2012? 

January
I celebrated Chinese New Year with the cousins that I've never met before, from Australia, who are all adorable. 


February
Sent my bestfriends off to the land down below. *sobs*

 

Went to SS4 Singapore, plus a visit to my cousins and grandpa. 




March
I think...I got a boyfriend. :D 


April
Went for Sunway Christian Fellowship Camp. Gained new friends. (:


May 
Went to CIMP Prom. Aww, I miss them both so much. 


Celebrated my birthday~ 


 Filmed my Seoulmate Project, made new friends. :) 


June 
With that, I graduated from CIMP. 


July 
And took a trip to Penang with besties. 


Also to the waterfall with boyf and new friends. 


 August 
I uhmm.. started Psychology @ Sunway Univeristy. 


September 
EMERGE KL. Future in Neon. My first ever time designer and making an outfit, with hair and make up. 


October 
Sent my sister off to Busan. *sobs* 

November 
Big Bang Galaxy Tour! 


December 
Christmas! & Holidays! & New Year Eve!

I feel like I haven't achieved much last year. But it was a tough year, sending away my bestfriends, sending away my sister, and my dad. All to the land far far away. Having been through it all with my boyf, which I must say, is a new record. Heh. Gaining and losing friends all at the same time. God has been very confusing last year. It was a year full of lessons and teachings, of falling and climbing, or love and pain, of decisions and plans. All of which, I wouldn't have gotten through if it wasn't for God. To be reminded over and over again, that God is good.

I am so grateful for experiencing life for yet another year. Being 19 is a strange crossroad. There, but not there. I'm not sure what I feel with that being my last year as a teen. I guess I am quite afraid. But that's okay. The most recent lesson and reminder that I've heard, is that everything here is temporary. Despite that, God has given us life. Thus, we should live and live by His Word, something I haven't seen to grasp fully. 

2013 will be a year filled with more learning, more life, more love. There is so much more. So much more to life. That, I believe.

The day Christ was born.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Warning: Long & picture HEAVY post.  

Before Christmas: 


  
Both my bestfriends who currently live in the same state. Much love. And I don't have a Christmas picture with my boyf because it seems he impulsively deleted the only one we took together, or he just doesn't want to send it to me. *hint hint*
 
So, exams has ended. And Kristal came over for a few days about an hour right after my last paper. I think I was in a terrible state, with only probably 12 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Oh well, all that matters is that its finally over. I'm not sure if it will be my last Psychology exam ever, but I'm just glad to be away for all exams, for now. 


Shopping for presents and all, one very amusing night of  disturbed sleep and one very uncomfortable night that I don't ever want to relive.

 

ᄏᄏᄏ check out my editing skills.

Then, with much trouble and very little sleep, we took the train back to Ipoh on the 22nd morning, reached Ipoh at about 8.30am and set off for Penang at 11am. Upon reaching, I was pretty much zombie already, it was such a tiring day. Shopped in Queensbay for awhile, drank some tea, until George gor gor came to get us. 


Heart shaped, so pretty!

After that, Dai gor brought us to dinner, through all the jam and all, with Magnum, of course. We retired early because the next day was a very energy consuming day. We went to Escape Penang, an outdoor, all natural, theme park. I climbed a tree and a house and firefoxed for the first time. I have never had to climb and hold on to so many things under the scorching hot sun for so long. It was such a new experience, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.


View from outside.

View from inside. 

 Pampering ourselves with ice cream after the long 2 hour above ground, holding on to ropes and dangling from our harnesses.


I'd like to look back at this picture in the future and think "Oh, the good old days." :D 


ESCAPE. 

It was all fine, till the night when I started to develop these terrible (!!) rashes, which cause is still unknown. I would post up a picture but I don't want to disgust what's left of my readers now. Heh. That night, we went to eat this funny combination of noodles, deep fried prawns and dim sum. We were too tired to do anything anymore, so we settled watching CZ12 at midnight. To waste time while waiting for the movie, we went to the arcade and brought Christmas bracelets as presents. 

  

They're so pretty, I wanna buy 5 for myself. T____T But I can't, and probably shouldn't. 

Kristal and I had the next day to ourselves because George gor gor had to work. We woke up in the afternoon and his aunt drove us out to Gurney, where all we had time to do was eat and get the bracelets and then go home to get ready for the Christmas eve dinner, with a whole lot of unknown people.


The turkey leg that we had. It was oddly tasteless and really hard to cut. Its actually quite large even though it doesn't show in this picture. 



 The rest of the acquaintances we got to know while at Escape, Ken and June, they're such a cute couple, and George and Magnum and Kristal. 

After dinner, the supposed countdown/Christmas party that we were going to were all...full. So when the clock striked 12, we were standing outside these with smoke in our hair and nothing to do but to wish each other Merry Christmas and a hug. And in these weird places, we could just walk right into the club without paying or anything. To make our Christmas less sad, we strolled into all 4 clubs just to check them out. They were all very nicely designed, different and expensive. One had a live band playing, that was quite awesome. Had I lived there, I would visit one of these every weekend, just because I can. 


The singers were good for the Malaysian standard. For some reason, all the people inside the clubs were too sober for Christmas night and TOO selamba. They just sit around and try not to be too awkward with the rest of the people. Hmmm. Its quite discouraging for a party. And, they were kinda...old. 

We were quite disheartened when the beginning of our Christmas was just.. that. So, they decided to leave because waiting there was futile. We headed to Upper Penang Road, and with no surprise, all the clubs there were full too. We settled in a weird bar place with a pool table and a tower (where I drank only 3 sips from) for a few pool games. Then we got bored again. :((

With that, we left to go to some funny Chinese club. It was so amusing! In Penang, I first saw an Indian club and visited a Chinese club filled with old people doing really weird disco dances to the old Cantonese disco songs. 


Which left us very bored and thus, these pictures were created. 


And then joined by a very tipsy friend of George's and more pictures. The night ended at 3am when the club closed and then Kristal and I were bombarded by these two random guys who were friends with friends of George's friends. That was such an amusing conversation, totally absurd and make no sense, yet entertaining. Haihhh. Men. By the end of the night, Kristal and I have been to 6 clubs. Not bad for a Christmas, eh? :)


While we were driving for one place to another, we randomly shouted "Merry Christmas!" at passing people, most of who just thinks we were either drunk or crazy. So, we made this sign to put against the window. Didn't make a difference because everyone just ignored me. Hpmh. 

 On Christmas morning, we visited Excel Point Community Church, which was also a weird story. We reached the place and on the first floor, there was a signboard of the church, but it was closed. We headed up to the second floor where there was more Excel Point signs but it was all closed. Almost when we were about to give up, we went all the way back downstairs until George saw that there was another Excel Point sign on the fourth floor. And finally, we found the service. Despite being very late and quite sleepy, I'm glad we managed to sing "Joy to the World" in church on Christmas. 

Happy Birthday, Jesus & Merry Christmas!

After lunch, we began our journey back to Ipoh where I slept the entire way. Then, we had some really awesome turkey and pasta at Kristal's house, courtesy of her mum. Thinking about it now makes me hungry already. With that, Christmas was officially over for me.

I headed home, wished Mummy Merry Christmas and spent the last two hours of Christmas watching the EMAs on my own and then totally passed out for 13 hours straight. The next day, we went to have a post Christmas dinner with Mr.Calvin and his kids. That was an interesting dinner, they were pretty much how I expected them to be, bright kids, bright future. We went to eat Northern Indian food @ Tandoor Grill, it was so spicy! 


And mummy seems to remember my skull-phase still, so she bought me a really large one. 


:O

Then, I spent the next few days oversleeping and eating and sitting around in Mummy's office. Gladly meeting up with Sam, after so long. It feels long. Its been long and empty. Lastly, I finally returned back to my much missed Internet here in Subang, and my boyf, of course. 

I feel like I need to express the extreme gratitude I have for Kristal and her family for being so kind and generous and for having me for a few days, for the vitamin supplements because it looks like I'm dying, duck rice, Shogun buffet, for walking with me, for being a family. Not forgetting, George and his aunt, for letting us stay for a few days, taking us to places, planning the entire Christmas for us, feeding me good food and for boiling hot water for me and for being so willing and... brotherly. From the bottom of the remaining pieces of my heart, thank you.

To end, have a creepy picture of myself. 


Expect a New Year post, hopefully full of reflection and not regret. There's still so much left to figure out. Decisions, plans, life. 

Above all, 
Thank you, God.

If only I knew...

Thursday, December 13, 2012


The wavy hair that I have always wanted but never had. Until one sad morning at 4am. Its all natural, not permed or curled. Please ignore my eyes, it was 4am but I couldn't resist the temporary vanity spell that I was under. :/


Straight hair or curly hair? #thirdworldproblems

Sigh. What are you doing, self? Got time to take and edit pictures, but no time to study? T______T Be gone vanity spell!

On another note, I really want to put up a Christmas tree. I watched a cutesy, depressing Christmas movie and now that I feel all christmasy, there's no Christmas tree for me to decorate.

12 more days to Christmas! 


To think that this was just last year. My face was so fat.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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