"...because of you."

Honestly, these three words are scarier than the other kinds of three words that people would think of when they hear 'three words'. Well, to me anyway. How can someone bear to be the reason of...anyone's anything? Of course, it could be a positive reason. I think perhaps I haven't heard any of those things for awhile now.

The things I've been hearing goes a little like...

"You make me feel like dying." 

"Why do you make my life so miserable?"

Uhh. I'm sorry? :/

 **************************

So, nothing has happened. Just felt like updating. This week's service was good. To quote my cell leader, "Its been awhile since I've heard a message that I just had to write down everything because every point was important." 

It was about relationships. Stop right there. I know what you're about to think. Heh. No. It is not about that kind of relationships. Its about our general relationship to people. The real transformation, of Christians, does not only encompass of a Christian's relationship with God. Real transformation happens when you bring the relationship you have with God, towards the people. Real people. Man to man. 

Its given that it is tremendously hard to love people. People who don't mean anything to you, people who have no relation to you whatsoever, and even harder to love people who hate you. But that's exactly what we are supposed to do. Why is it so hard to"have faith" in humanity? Because we don't see it, we don't live it. Okay, now I'm being ironic. Because, to have faith, is to believe evidence of things not seen. Things that are currently not... present.

And that is my problem. It is so hard to live with utter selflessness. Because, humans are self centered. When Adam and Eve first sinned, our focus was already lost. It wasn't on God, it wasn't on others, we only focused on ourselves. We find friends who suit us, make us better people, we marry people who can fit us, we only choose to love those that are easy to love.

³⁴ “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35-35

We have to love one another. Selflessly and sacrificially. And the final lesson learnt today for Christians: 

Stop convincing people.

Start loving people.

I have to learn to love people. I think I might have just tried to preach. But my

 ex-boyf's right about this. Practice what you preach. Sigh. I have much more growing to do, its a new battle everyday. 

Which brings me back to the recent drama. I am still on my life roller coaster ride. Sometimes I just stop riding for awhile to come down and puke, just to get back on it. And while I continue to do things that might just be slightly detrimental to my mental state, haters continue to hate.

I have to admit, I want this picture posted somewhere, probably out of spite. Just because you tell me I can't, I will show you I can. With some respect. And to avoid casting my drama upon innocent people. I will not forget the way he looked at me. I wish I didn't understand, I wish I could say that their resentment towards me was bullshit. But...I can't. Because I know what its like to be a friend. Because I know how to love a friend. 

 

I had a good night. Carefree. Sexy, free and single. Haha.  

I'd just like to say though. Mind your own business. *i'm already hearing all the whispers of 'my friend's business is my business' speech* Oh, suck it up and just move along.

"Just because something isn’t something, doesn’t mean that it’s nothing."

People have feelings, people get hurt. I am a person. I am a person, too. Just like everybody else. A little hard to process that sentence, isn't it? I guess sometimes its a little too easy to forget that when it comes to me.

Yeah, its a reminder to me on certain days too.

"....until we meet again."

21st April.

 I got baptized!

"....in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit."

It is such an experience. I couldn't tell you how many ways the devil tried to steer me away, with all the reasons that felt like it mattered but really didn't. I am a Child of God, and I am baptized. Despite all the circumstances that have happened, the people telling me to postpone it, being (almost) completely alone during my baptism, it is still one of the best decisions I've made in my life.
I really do everything alone, don't I? :/

I didn't need people to be there to witness it. God was my only witness. I am ready more than ever, to live renewed in Christ and to follow His ways.
For all the days of my life.

****************

So, I have a large pile of soggy, gross tissue in my bin 

that constitutes of the pain you've caused me. 

Does this mean I can openly resent you now?

Date a girl who travels.

Inspiring. 
Makes me think, this is someone I could be.

From : http://www.solitarywanderer.com/2012/02/date-a-girl-who-travels/

Heart of gold.

 Special post for a special friend for his special birthday.

Happy (belated) Birthday, Sam! ♥♥♥

We've been friends for so many years, yet this is the first year I've spent your birthday with you.
:D

"My bestfriend, bestfriend till the very end."

After officially living for two decades, and having spent a few years being friends, I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Happy Birthday, love.

Short, and sweet.

This is a part of my impromptu visit to Singapore. 

Approximately 10 hours before my actually departure, I finally decided to get up and go. After going back and forth in my mind for days, I would say it one of the best decisions I've made. Or, maybe this is just my post-singapore depression talking. 

So, I arrived at a mall that I have never been too. Took a shuttle bus, took a train, took another shuttle bus to go to find the-one-who-was-kind-enough-to-let-me-stay. HAHA. I've finally decided to go with Mr. Red Pants, who will never read this. 

Right after reaching, I traveled all the way to find him just to have him carry my luggage all the way back to his place for me.

 ._.

That night itself, we traveled all the way to the city to visit Marina Bay Sands. No time lost at all. Honestly, a lot has changed since I last went there. All the stuff they were building were finally up and running. I love this Gardens at the Bay place. The tall trees thingy, they're so beautiful. From near and from far. I guess I do have a thing for lights.

Of course, not forgetting the Helix Bridge.

We also managed to catch a water fountain/lights/laser (?) show, that they were showing at Marina Bay. We were both feeling all sentimental and mopey.

On the way there, we walked through this hallway with all these flower patterns on the wall and decided to pick a wall each. Hahaha. "Our wall."

The next day, because he wanted to go to the beach, we went to Sentosa. It was a Sunday, the island was pretty crowded with tourists and all. 

We took the Boardwalk across because the train is overrated. Heh.

The pretty lights on the walls and the staircase.

We walked all along the beach. Twice. 

Rested on these terribly sandy uhh.. pondok? The wind in my hair, sand between my toes. Good times. *sniffles*

Dusted sand off our feet...

...and cycled around a small part of the island because cycling uphill was an impossible task for me. Lol, sorry.

And after eating McD for dinner, we walked all the way to another beach, in the dark, across this pretty cool hanging bridge, looked through the telescope, and walked all the way back to the train station. A long walk along the beach, dark and quiet, perfect date.

The next day, we headed towards Bugis. Bad place to go with the kind of financial crisis I am in. Lol. The long escalator at Iluma is gone! What blasphemy! T________T It was depressing. They've renovated a lot around the city. Shopped around for awhile, he's a good shopping company. I feel bad, I might have bored him out of his mind. Pastel mint green. I won't forget now. :) 

Introduced him to MOS burger for the first time. Rice burgers are awesome. His ebi burger and my something-in-japanese-chicken-burger. From where we were eating, I pointed out Suntec City, lo and behold, he decided we should head there. But only to be disappointed that the Fountain of Wealth was under construction. :/ 

Then. We decided (mainly just him, I just complied) to walk to the Merlion Park. Because it is supposedly near, but not that near. We walked 3 MRT stations away. Lol. I guess I could say it was all worth it. 

After a long treacherous walk/chase to catch the last train home, we still missed the last bus. And proceeded to walk another 3 bus stops far to get home. I've done so much walking, I have a blister on each foot.

 But then again, no regrets. Memories to last for a lifetime.  

Thank you, J.

Short, and sweet.

Changed the game.

The first thing I did when I got back to Ipoh this time around was cut my hair. My horse tail is now officially reduced to a ponytail. Haha. And apparently I need a new shampoo. Hmm.

 Passing through the month of celebration..

I went back to Ipoh, being given the opportunity to celebrate with some new friends their birthdays. Belated or not, celebration is always good. :) 

 Twas was an interesting night, with a little too much beer and too much sitting. Also, too much eating. This new change, the one where I don't get to sleep much in Ipoh anymore, is so strange to me. Quite hard to get used to. I wonder if my mum realises that she barely sees me at home anymore when all I ever did was stay at home in Ipoh. 

Coincidentally, that weekend was Easter Sunday. So I went to church, with two of my closest, and with a very traditional and quiet way, we celebrated the resurrection of Christ.

Happy Easter y'all! 

 And of course, Ipoh is never complete without my dear Ipoh-bestfriend. It was a long day, a long night. Long talks, long walks. I've missed you.

My mum has decided to completely change my sister's room into her own personal walk in closet. So she's been cleaning up stuff, throwing out stuff. I came home at night and saw the whole stack of MGS' Argosy outside the door and I almost ignored it. But after considering the very few memories I have of the school, I decided to keep the class photos that I could find. I didn't get my Standard 6 picture. T____T 

Trips to Ipoh almost makes me nostalgic. Just looking at all the stuff my mum's been clearing up makes me sad. How did I grow up so fast? How did so much change all of a sudden? There's so much to remember. 

I miss my bestfriends. 

"When will we do life together again?"

Busan.

 "Sam (Lopez) and Jill had an operation in the same week." 

"You wanna talk about me then talk about me la, don't wanna talk then don't talk la, no big deal." 

Memories' sake. Shoutout to my best friend! :D

************** 

 I have spent many posts talking about Seoul. I'm hoping to squeeze Busan into one post because well.. there wasn't much.

 Traveling back to Busan was slightly stressful. The train tickets went out, we didn't really make a back up plan. So, we had to sit and collect ourselves a little before devising up a plan. And the plan was.. to take a bus. Lol. Its not that hard to figure out, but point is we've never done it before. So, it was still a little challenging. Going towards the unknown. And it was so cold that day! We had to drag our luggage, which wasn't little, EVERYWHERE. And that picture above, is taken from the university dorm where we were staying. 

1. Boemoesa Temple

We had to take a train to a real far away station, then walk and take the bus uphill to this temple. But we don't reach the temple until we finish climbing uphill.. on foot. It was a looong journey. Thankfully it wasn't too cold that day. It was all very pretty and...yellow. Cause all the trees and grass were still dying from the cold.

I might not have enjoyed climbing uphill very much, but I really liked jumping around on these rocks. The wind was in my hair, the air was cold and crisp and fresh. :D Nature~

2. Gwanghan Bridge

The beaches at Busan are all so nice. :/ Jealous. Lol. But the main point of this place is the bridge. Where they usually have the colourful fountains/ lights and stuff. But they don't operate during winter. :(

3. Haeundae Beach

So, this is apparently the famous beach in Busan, and it is damnnn big. Lol. I guess it'd be nice to come when its warm and sunny to build sand castles and all. Maybe wear a bikini. HAHA.



My sister takes terrible candid shots of me. Hmph.

 4. Noraebang 




Noreabang literally translates to "song room", which means karaoke in Malaysian terms. The pricing system is slightly different, but other than that, its pretty much the same. I would say, it is slightly better going to sing k in Malaysia. The only difference is the place and they give us tambourines to play with... which we conveniently ignored. And, that place we're sitting on, its like a stage. For people to dance and sing on I guess. 

Oh, right. They also have a point giving system. We got 100 for singing "I don't wanna miss a thing". LOL farny stuff. We went back for 2 days straight because the singing duration is only 2 hours per session and we were not satisfied that we never got to sing the songs we want. Surprisingly, mummy just went along with us and listened us sing terribly and dancing to "Oppa, oppa". Haha, good times. 

5. Blue Monkey 

 Special appearance from Nay, friend who was with us, brought us? I didn't even get a chance to thank him. To fulfill my final thing to do in Korea, we went clubbing on the last night. Blue Monkey is this club which is more of a clubbing scene for foreigners in Busan. ...which is slightly disappointing because I want to experience a Korean korean club. But, beggars can't be choosers.

It was one of the most interesting nights I have ever lived. Haha. I don't think there's much I can tell here about the night. But we meet some Korean oppas and uhh.. foreingners. So, people who club in Korea really like...grinding. The girls like to grind and the guys like to be grinded. Normal right? ...right. Watching was a bit too creepy for me, imagine participating. Heh. The people were uhh.. slightly older. And they seem to have never ending energy. It was a little past 3 and I was already so tired, but they danced till 5am. Party goers are memang hardcore there. Good times, good times. First time partying in the winter, first time partying with Koreans in Korea. 

Blessed.

Little things.

Part 3. 

4. Everysing @ Myeongdong

 Haha, look at that face omggg. 

One of the first few days lingering around Myeongdong, we somehow spotted Everysing. Everysing is SM's uhhmm.. outlet? Where it is a combination of karaoke and selling artists merchandise. I know it because Jo and I did an entire assignment on this place back in CIMP. It was quite amazing to actually step foot into it myself.

And of course, we had to take pictures at the Super Junior booth. I think there was a SNSD booth, but I didn't look into it cause well... I don't really care. Ahhh, my Donghae. This was the only relevantly kpop related place we were at. There was another Everysing at Hongdae if I'm not mistaken. Hmm.

 To take a look around... Sorry, its quite biased towards Suju. There were lotsa SHINee stuff that weure quite nice had I been a SHINee fan. And of course, lotsa SNSD stuff since they just had a comeback. Looking at all the stuff that I wanted but could not buy...sigh.

5. Insadong & Namdaemun 

I'm grouping Namdaemun and Insadong together because we went to those places on the same day. 

 I think this is the only picture I have in Namdaemun. It was literally another street with more food and more cheap stuff. We were there quite late, you see. The shops were closing at like.. 4.30pm. :/ And this is where we were conned into eating the very expensive street food because we were too hungry to walk on further. The japchae was good though. We didn't get to do much here because like I said, when we were done eating, all the shops were closing. 

At Insadong.... 

Which is what I'd call the artsy fartsy place. Haha. We actually didn't plan to go to Insadong but we happened to chance upon it while we were trying to find our way back to the subway station. So, yeshh! Another adventure. Insadong is supposed to be the place to buy the Korean souvenirs and all the traditional stuff. The streets were slightly different, decorated in a slightly refined older manner. 

Then as we were walking down the street, we spotted this very interesting looking building and decided to walk right in. Lol. 

It had a lot of cool stuff inside, some were pretty pricey. In the basement, they had this shops where make your own stuff. Like decorate your own cupcake, cut up some wooden key chains, make your own beads and accessories, and clay pots and stuff. Really cool.

I think its not very obvious in the picture but the building is built like a square, slanted spiral building. Its like one way up and one way down, along the corridors of the shops. Ugh, I am doing quite a terrible job explaining, I'm just gonna leave it to your imagination. More artsy stuff on the side of the corridors. (:

This, I think, is really cool. They literally made the hole across the entire wall. The side where I'm standing is where the staircase is. And in the middle of the straircase is a ginormous metal rose thing, like the giant beanstalk, going all the way up the top floor.

And there is also vandalism everywhere here. Lol. I guess I would still call it artsy fartsy stuff. 

To continue our adventure, my sister and I really wanted to try on Hanbok's and we were lucky enough to have spotted this sticker booth shop on the top floor where they let us wear the Hanboks for free! It was only 7000won (approx. RM21) for the pictures. It was a pretty good deal.

 So we wore our Hanboks and camwhored a little. It was one of my most favourite experiences in Seoul. And the pictures made us all look so pretty. Hehe. :D

 

After the picture taking, we continued up towards the rooftop and found this uhh.. love message wall? Its also a wall where they buy these kinda message tags and hang them all over. It was a pretty sight, but the shop was already closed so we didn't do much.

6. Bukchon Village

Bukchon is the part of Seoul where they preserved all the olden day houses and stuff. I think we see it very often in TV dramas and all. The houses are all still lived in and the whole place is pretty quiet but constantly bombarded with tourists. I dunno how they can live here. Hmmm. 

It was quite confusing to us what we were supposed to do there actually. We just walked where it looked interesting. Like this staircase for example. It was actually quite hard to climb. There were more houses on the sides and up. 

So, apparently. After we left, we found out that we were supposed to go around looking for photo spots, which are stated on the ground, right where this picture was taken. Haha. It was a little tiring climbing uphill and downhill around these houses.

Someone lives in that house.