"My mum always says opposites attract."

"That's magnets, we're people."

It feels like so much has happened and nothing has happened at the same time. Quick update. 

I've been living 4 hours of sleep a day, sleeping at all the wrong times, finishing up assignments last minute and it still doesn't seem to end. Have I been slacking? Not exactly, I'm just.. procrastinating. I've been really strange lately. Its like I'd say 'yes' to everything for a week, then I'll say 'no' to everything for the next. :/ #confused

So.. What happened? Uhm. 

I went to the We Love Asia Concert 2.0. And I've witnessed Pitbull live (or not live, I'm not sure) and I spent the whole night jumping around, covered in sweat and smoke. So much fun. 

Then.. we went for MTV World Stage, with EXO and Far East Movement and Robin Thicke. It was a pretty good night, despite the drizzle earlier in the night and the crazy fans. Maybe cause it was less hot and less people sticking to me, it was quite spacey. :D 

Then...  PARTAYYY~ new friends, old friends, acquaintances who eventually return to being strangers.

Then.. Back to being a student. Haihhh. Its been exhausting but I think the fight's not over yet. Finals will be approaching. I'm finding it so hard to be able to manage my time between me-time,sleep,  school, church, friends who are near and friends who are far. I'm sorry, I'm really busy and I'm trying my best. :/ Don't people realize that they're not the only ones having a hard time? Otherwise, I've been sacrificing a lot of the "fun times" just to get a little more sleep. My face is suffering, eye bags and dark eye circles are getting worse. 

Finally, it was my sister's birthday. 

I'm sorry I couldn't do more, it wasn't exactly all last minute. :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ❥❥❥❥❥ xoxo

So we went to 노래방, to celebrate. Big thanks to Zhan Wei for spending the whole day with me. Heh. I think he's the only so far willing to spend so much time with me. I see him 5 days a week, 5 hours a day. Or more. Lol.

  

I realised we were only ever apart for one birthday, that was last year. One birthday is enough, it shall not happen again! Cause my birthday without you was terrible, not sure if yours was though, heh. Thank you for always being there for me, for being my support, for being my confidant, for being my sister. Thank you for being born 2 years earlier than I was, thank God for putting us together. I love you!

I feel blessed now, after reflecting on the past 2 weeks. 

Thank you, God. 

Off to do assignments again now~

Tied up.

Picture by : this. I think this is a great experiment, all kinds of scary, all kinds of fun, a story worth telling in the future. Too bad I don't think I'd ever be able to experiment things like this with anyone. No one willing. :/

I keep feeling like hugging people. Like.. I'm suffering from hug-deficit for the past two weeks. Lol.

"I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love."

"You found me."

It feels like I've lost my voice.

I have no idea what I believe in anymore. I don't even remember who I used to be, how I used to be, what I used to be. What is this nonsense identity crisis I'm in the midst of? I barely have any opinions, its like I don't have a thought on anything at all. If it happens, it happens. I don't bother justifying things anymore, I don't bother evaluating things anymore, I don't remember the last time I judged something/someone. And I know, that is not a bad thing, I don't judge, I like that about myself. But I'm beginning to blur out the line between what's good and bad, what's right or wrong. I'm losing touch of what I live my life by. 

Its like I'm being just whoever the people around me thinks I am. It change accordingly, just to.. adapt. I don't remember how I used to think before. I hear all these strange voices in my head that don't belong to me.

Things are only valuable when they're rare. And now I'm becoming almost like everything else out there in the world, any kind of person, any kind of girl. Average? Oh-so-average. 

I feel like I don't think anymore. Gone are the days when I actually over-think things. Is it too early to say that I kinda miss that feeling? I feel like I need to have told this big, long, thick rope to hold my brains together, to get my mind to function again. If I kinda squish my brain up, maybe squeeze some of the juice out, to make it all soft and moist, will I begin to think deeper thoughts?

Days and days and more days past. I don't even notice. Its a strange kind of emptiness. Not the kind stemmed from being alone too long, it feels like it comes from being quiet amongst people too much.

I'm becoming dumb. 

!!!

Read THIS!!!

"I took someone else’s values and swapped them for mine, rather than redefine my values to meet my new view of myself. This laziness was my undoing. It’s why you must always consider the source of any advice you get before you adopt it. I was stupid. Later on, I realized what might’ve worked for them sure as shit didn’t work for me. I’m no good at being nice. Hell, I don’t even believe in niceness. I think it’s a lie. This is why you gotta do you. Nothing else will work but your truth.

But how do you “do you” when what you’re doing isn’t working? Another good question.

The old saying, “Nice guys finish last,” is somewhat misunderstood.

The saying should be: “Nice guys let others finish first.”

**********

WHAT AM I DOING. 

How can this article relate so much. Uhg, life.

One more time.

Bonding activity 101: Go to Genting in the middle of the night and freeze our butts off. 

Just the other day, a not-so impromptu plan to Genting, after some dancing and Jagger-bombs in Vertigo. Which also explains why I was wearing a skirt.

Group shot! There's so much love in this picture. My favourite one yet. :D

It was so cold, what we actually did there, was eat McD, walk around and then stand outside in the cold all just hugging each other because it was so cold, took some pictures, laughed, get stared at weirdly, went home when the sun rose.

 And then they were trying to portray with it was like to kidnap me, I wouldn't say they were trying to kidnap me because they couldn't even carry me. LOL. Yes, I know. I'm still trying to lose some of that unwelcomed weight gained. :/

With Mel, whom I really wish does not leave but would still want her to leave so she can fulfill her dreams at HKU. I couldn't open my eyes fully because the wind was blowing in my face.

Selca time! When the sun rose and the temperature lower. We're actually all pretty tired here, but thankfully, it doesn't show.

I've learnt a lot and I've seen many admirable characteristics so far that I'll definitely put in my list of things I should learn to be a better person. Last picture to commemorate Omar who wasn't there, I really wish you were.

사랑한다 친구 ♥♥♥

Invisible.

"Don't turn your back on me, 
I won't be ignored." 

The new people that step foot into my life does not over right the people who were already in my life.

A little bit of fun.

It seems like I (obviously) didn't mention in my previous post that my course has started, I'm in to my second week now as a VU business student. I honestly don't know what to feel about it, but I do know that I feel like I'm having a really hard time catching up. Maybe its my own mental state that's not moving on yet. It's really hard to get out of the holiday season that I have been so comfortably enjoying. Snap out of it, self! 

In other news, I did continue spending my first week of classes as if it was still holiday. I spent a good day, the last day, with Omar before he left back to his country.

 

Someone I can talk to, someone I can lean on, someone I can listen to, someone who listens to me. Someone to eat with, someone to sing with, someone to dance with, someone to play with, someone to shop (LOL) with, someone to watch movies with, someone to just do nothing with. :D

Someone to walk with, someone to enjoy the view with, someone to take pictures with. Haha, we have so many pictures together now. A great friend, a great companion, a great brother, a great...father (?), a great everything. Haha, my first dedication post to you! Thank you for everything.

I guess, in time, these people will become very precious to me, whether they know it, and whether I show it. So, we ended the night with a surprise belated birthday celebration for Mike and a great session of karaoke. It was indeed a good night. 

HAHA. Uhm. Sorry. Parental Advisory? Explicit content. Should I sensor the picture? 

WARNING : Do not let your parents catch you looking at this picture if you're under 18.

***************

God has been so kind to me, in the part about going back to university. On the first day of orientation, I dragged myself into the hall and awkwardly placed myself next to this guy, who was all cool and scary because no one knew each other. Lol. Then, there was this nice girl who came and sat next to me and we're probably not in close terms anymore. 

Let me tell you why. Because right when we finished our first awkward, quiet break together, I bumped into an old friend. YAY! I mean.. yeah. It has its pros and cons. I was so glad to see him, I could cry. Then, for some reason, the day just got easier to go through. 

:D Big smiles! 

Of course, the con would be that.. it gets harder to 'meet new people' when we're not alone. I guess in the end, we will rely on each other more often than not. I currently choose not to concern myself with the 'new people' thing because right now, I'm just glad to have a friend again. 

Long story short, uni is taking a toll on me because my mind and body can't seem to wrap itself around it yet, no synergy. Lol. I'm gonna make the best out of it. 

화이팅!

그때.

"I remember that day so clearly, just like I remember the way your long fingers cover mine as you drive, one hand on the steering, one hand in mine. I never forget the left side of your face, the one I stare at everytime, from the passenger seat. I remember peering at the speed meter to make sure you were going at a safe speed. I remember the way I put my feet up on the seat and how you refused to let anyone else but me eat in the car. It was so precious to you, and at that moment in time, so was I.

I remember the day you held on to me so tightly as I tried to pull the gift you gave me off the wall. With every pull, the tape makes a snapping noise that makes us realize just how much we're tearing off from our lives. By the time I pulled off the last tape, tears streaming down both our faces, reminding us of all the hateful words we said to each other. I also remember how you were still slurring pained words as a reflection of the pain you were feeling. Trust me, the pain was mutual.

I remember the marks that was made on my wall, where your gift used to be. I did not feel the need to remove everything that reminded me of you out of my life, the way you felt like you had to. I covered the marks to make it look like its never there. But truthfully, I can never forget. There's nowhere to run to. 

Today, the same gift and the same marks are still at the same place. It looks like nothing has changed other than the dead flowers which I have thrown away without a second thought, only small, lingering, whispering reasons. Everyday passes in this place, I am so used to it all that I don't even notice the small, small things that remind me of you, yet the big, big things put a bittersweet smile on my face each time. Proudly, I will say, 'I'm getting there'."

, 

"You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my walk
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone." 

Bisa?

First off, welcome back 언니! 

I was in Ipoh for the weekend, two weeks ago, preparing for a (little) vacation to Jakarta. :D So we travelled alot that weekend, finally made it to Jakarta. Cut the long story short, on Day-1, all we did was jam all the way back to my uncle's pretty nice condo and then we watched KBS all afternoon and ate Domino's for dinner. A bit potong stim, but since we were pretty tired from all the travelling, I think I slept at 10pm that day. Its a miracle!

The second day picked up with us heading to Ancol Dreamland, a large bay (?) where they built an entire themepark on. Its pretty old, I think. But not too bad. :D We went to the dry park only, Dunia Fanstasi, Dufan for short. 

We rode on The Challenger... 

 ...Tornado, and...

 ...Niagara Flume Ride. 

Its an achievement for my mum with her lack of photographing skills to be able to get pictures of us on all three. Hee. 

It was a good day, the park is very much spread out, so the queues weren't too bad. This was the longest line at the Flume Ride. And it drizzled in the second half of the day. All the kids were like staring at me. Hmmm. I wonder why. 

Baby elephant! So adorable I didn't want to let it go. :(

On the second day, my uncle took leave for 2 days to take us around. I am grateful, but.. yes, grateful. Haha. We went to Taman Mini Indonesia. There are supposed to be miniature attractions of the world there, but we didn't get to see any. And also, it rained all day. +.+

I thought I was the most dolled up that day, but then we just spent the whole day getting drenched in the rain before my mum couldn't take it anymore and bought umbrellas. 

There are all these olden houses there, with old stuff inside, to show the history of all the different ethnics of people and how they lived in Indonesia. It was.. slightly interesting, mildly boring. I think I almost paid no attention to the stuff I was looking at, and only on how the rain kept getting heavier.

At the place where the ppl sit to get married. What is it called again? :o 

Then we also visited the uhh.. Ikan Air Tawar place. I'm not sure what it is. Its just aquariums with a lot of fish. Lol.

We saw eels and large fishes and creepy looking fishes, it was totally fun. 

And then we visit the Insect Museum. No comment on that. Haha.

On the 3rd day, we went shopping. At this place that's really like Petaling Street multiplied by 4 and then squashed into one building. Yup, that was fun. We bought shoes!

Then on the 4th day, we went to Taman Merkasari, its like a fruit part, vegetable park.. I have no clue really. We went to visit the dusun. Lol.

With the cousins, YAY. First pciture, it was slightly forced and awkward.

Making faces. Lol. We woke up at 6am to get there, with an hour and a half ride. And so we took some starfruits and melons home. And some lime plants. Yes, totally irrelevant. 



Yes, the taman was a pretty cool place. It has those rope stuff for us to climb on, another water themepark right across that bridge, it had.. some other stuff.

The melon plants, they were totally cute. Haha.

 With my grandpa on our Family Tour to all the plantations. The starfruit plantation had like a million caterpillars all over the ground, so creepyyyyy.

Yes, this was the end of the Family Tour. 

Then we took a long long ride back to the city again, which where we just stopped by some random mall to have lunch cause we were all dying of starvation. The day continued as we went to the Lotte Avenue, which was newly built in Jakarta. It was all so pretty and so.. Korean. Oh, you cannot imagine how much I miss it there. :/ 

They built these pretty weird things for deco, this was a kinda lighted house thing, with those hoses hanging at the back that lights up. Sooo cool. 

And A-HA! We found SuJu there. It made my day, honestly. I mean, to see something familiar while we're there. Its a little.. warming. Hehe. 

Finally, before we flew off on Sunday, we headed out to some fancy mall to have lunch. And then finally, the kids decide to warm up to us and proceeded to say hi constantly and then stare. Hmmm. Cute. 

One last picture with the cousins and grandpa. He looked so happy there and so sad on the plane back. Sigh. Oh well. 

 

One last thing I really can't help but point out, is that the disparity in Jakarta is so obvious that it pains my not so hard heart. There are people standing in the middle of roads trying to sell candy and drinks and there are people wearing mascots just waving at the people in between cars along the roads hoping that maybe someone just pops out and hand them some change. Its heart wrenching. There are so many people with small stalls all over the place just trying to make a living. I don't know how they can do it, but they really have my full respect. They don't just sit around and wait (although, yes, there are beggars too), they actually do whatever it is that they can to earn a living. Round of applause, these things don't seem to happen in Malaysia. Their humbleness should be exemplified.

That was it. We came back, and my course has begun and I have no idea what life will bring for me now. Lets move on to the next chapter now, I'm done with the previous one.

Hwaiting!

One of a Kind!

Venue : Stadium Nasional, Bukit Jalil

Date : 22 June 2013

Time : 8pm 

G DRAGON'S "ONE OF A KIND" WORLD TOUR 

It was such a glorious concert for me, different from what I experienced with the Big Bang concert previously. This time, it was just.. chilled and fun and not so stressful. I guess being in the rock pit that time was a little too much for me with my height. Despite this time around, it would have been so good to be nearer to him. But surprisingly, I don't have much to complain this time. I was technically quite far. The pictures make it obvious. But I could see him so much clearer than my iphone camera can. And he was so adorable. 

I know it is strange to describe GD that way, but he was. Totally. Adorable. And so was TaeYang. And I'm about to say something that's totally honest and may come off as mean, but.. I really super duper wished that TOP was the one there instead. *runsaway*

So this is one of the only clear picture I have of GD.. on the screen. Lol. Pathetic, I know. But I might have engraved his face in my head already, so its all good. I remember his hair, his face, his make which I found so amazing that it just doesn't smudge. I wish the makeup artists would tell me their secret. 

His dragon mic stand, his gold mic, his pretty DJ stand, his futuristic car that he came out in. The walking stick, the gorgeous throne that he sat on while he sand The XX. Oh so glorious. I'm not sure if the stage is built that way at every concert, hmm. Okay, I have to say. I am sooooo happy that he sang all those songs that he never got to, stuff like Obsession, This Love, She's Gone, Butterfly, What's Up, etc. 

Omg, I totally went crazy when he sang This Love. I was like mind blown, it was so awesome. I really cannot seem to say anything beyond this because I was so absorbed into the song. He sounds so good live, of course. And just to hear him rap... *faints*.

So, I also went with my new found concert buddy. :D Who's a bigger fan of Taeyang. Who went crazy with me when Taeyang came up. Who also knew how to sing the song that I didn't. *gasp* Taeyang did Where U At and Break It Down. Where U At was soooooo awesome, I was jumping off my seat. Then he does all this funny dancing that just makes me wanna squish him. Haha.

GD is literally the king of making faces at the camera. He was all cutesy and all everytime he looks at the camera, being all sexy and with those eyes just luring people in. If I had enough energy to scream at every face he makes, I would have lost my voice within the first hour of the concert. He was having so much fun moving around with his segway, playing around. Soooo cute. And of course, he went down towards the crowd towards the ending, where this picture... 

...was taken. Credits to the person who took it, I didn't take this picture. And I actually have no idea who to credit. She must have been the happiest person alive. I don't even know how she could keep calm enough to snap a non-blur picture.

Oh, I have to mention the dancers. Omg, I was actually flailing at them. They were so... good. Dayumm, High Tech. They were all dancing so beautifully, synchronized and all swag. And I actually squealed aloud at Don/Deuk. I'm not sure if both of them were there, cause all the dancers have the same hair. ._. Impossible to tell apart from far.

There was a lack of picture taking materials outside on the concert grounds. It was slightly disappointing and disheartening. Maybe it was because I reached quite late also, most of the concert goers were probably all inside already. The whole concert ground was too calm and quiet for a GD concert. There was only this "small" billboard outside with another one that had lights surrounding the same picture, in a smaller frame. 

And the merchandizes were all slightly disappointing too. Maybe the official merchandize shop closed by the time I got there. OMG. Maybe. And all they were selling were all the exact same One of a Kind shirts.

 Watching this whole concert, you can tell just how much planning went into it and how perfectly executed it was. There wasn't much delay at the start. And GD was also teasing us from behind the screen right before the concert started. And he spoke very fluently in English the whole time. 

Taeyang said something like "Malaysia people are as hot as the weather" HAHA. Then, GD mentioned about his second album, he was thanking "my brother's Big Bang" and then when he thanked Taeyang for guesting, Taeyang ran back out from the middle of the stage and went back in through the side. They also keep making the mistake of saying "Malay" instead of "Malaysia". They go like "I love you, Malay!". Someone needs to tell them. Lol. He made this most adorable video for the encore. Omg, I need to find it again. 

I thoroughly enjoyed this concert in a non-going crazy manner. It was like mellow and sweet and calm, like a good first date kind of feeling. Sometimes he makes me jump, sometimes he just puts this smile on my face, sometimes he makes me wanna grab him and put him in my pocket and bring him home to feed him rice or something.

I really didn't want to leave the concert ground after that. But the people were filling out like ants, I knew it was time. Oh, post concert depression. What do I do now.

I miss GD so much. VIP forever.

"And it feels like I am just too close to love you

So I'll be on my way

 
You gave me more that I can return

Yet there's so much that you deserve."