When we see each other, we automatically hug each other. 

When we walk together, we automatically reach for each other. 

When we part, we automatically think of each other. 

Dreams. 

"He who walks with the wise is wise."

Sundown Music Festival Asia 2013 @ Gold Coast Morib

Okay, this was a new experience, a pretty good one at that. The beach was.. not that dirty when we got there, but it was pretty trashed by the time we left. It was a 2 day event, but I only went for one night, because church comes first :D We left Subang at 8-ish and reached at almost 11. Haha. Damn GPS. Anyhow, I really enjoyed the whole car ride despite being a little burnt out from a real long Friday. 

"We gon' go hard and get there,
and when we get there we gon' go harder."
-Moe

The crowd was.. meh, so-so, I was a little out of it at first until we went to the other side of the crowd and had this entire area to ourselves, then we just kinda lost it. We ran around, splashed each other a little, jumped and danced. Ahh, it feels like it was yesterday. I had actual muscle pain from that little running we did. :/ 

Yes, apparently I hang out with some topless dark skinned guys. Great people. ♥♥♥

************

After that, it was back to uni, back to the continuously building stress and slight fear. But! 

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear
but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

I will get through this. It will all be worth it in the end, right?

*************

So, in the occasion of that one-day public holiday that we had and my random moodiness stemmed from my bestfriend ditching me in uni for the chick he has a crush on, my sister let me crash her 'date'. Bwahaha. Oops? 

We ate some Japanese food, ate A LOT of interesting flavored ice-cream and...danced a little. 

Salted gula melaka, Guinness, Nutella, Mango, French Toast. :D  

I like this, I do. But why does it always have to end that way. We could be great friends, we have fun together, we can talk, we can laugh, we understand, we love freely, why should we settle for something less? 내가좋아하는 오빠들; 잃고 싶지 않아. ᅲᅲ

And life decides to troll a little more and there, we bumped into a super super old childhood friend. Memory is a pretty amazing thing, who knew we would still remember each other since we knew each other at the young age of 7/8. Please ignore my #awkward arm. Who knows what life brings sometimes? 

*************

A day or two after that, mummy came to visit again and we went to Petaling Street to get more of the Halloween decorations and... 

So we tried on some of the stuff. The spiders were actually really cute. I don't think i'll get to celebrate Halloween this year. Damn you, finals.

Then we proceeded to eat some awesome dinner, it felt like eternity since I last had steamed fish and salted egg crab, courtesy of mummy's suppliers. I'm thinking I really need to improve my uhmm "socializing with older people" skills. :/ how else will I be able to step into the marketplace next time.

Yesterday, we celebrated my sister's so called belated 22nd (again) and... did weird things. Gawd, what a night. I think I did achieve what I wanted that night. That's it, now its time to move on. I did mean all those things I said, I'm glad we're all just.. fine.

Looking at my previous posts since I snapped out of my non-studying period and finally trying to get a life, I feel like I've come far. There's a lot of stuff going on, most times, its hard just to find a day for myself. I cannot begin to explain how blessed I feel, from making new friends, finding old friends, and connecting again with friends that were always there. (Shoutout to my bestest bestest gf EZZIE because I MISS YOU) 

"An introduction to a new relationship is a new season."

What my CG leader said, I can really feel it coming true for me now. Ahh, the power of prophecy. She said that she feels that now is the beginning of a new season, a season to go out even further and to stretch our faith even more. That phase I was in, I'd really like to get out of it already and despite what everyone may say, I think that this is a God given opportunity for me to realise myself again and become a better person. I'm taking the good and the bad and mould it all together until it becomes something new. 화이팅!

Theme for the 3rd quarter of 2013 : BOLD

Excuse the long post, I'm obviously procrastinating from studying.

There is an answer, you just don't want to accept it;
and the answer is 'No'.

"I don't care, I love it"

I've come to realise that people just.. Generally don't care about things. Or maybe the people that I've come across. They just don't. And somehow or rather, I've become a little like them. Just don't care. There's no point talking about it, no point thinking about it, no point having an opinion about it. Because generally, people also don't care what you think about things.

Don't they?

*************

 Arthur's day.

The Wanted!

OMG Nathan waved at me! I swear he did! I was just looking at his general direction, tryna see what weird things he was doing on stage, then he just suddenly stood and stared into the crowd. There was a direct space between him and me, in between all the hands. And when he looked at my general direction, everyone else was looking at someone else, so I waved at him. And then he looked like he  suddenly snapped out of the trance that he was in and waved back at me. Bwahahahahaha. Yeah, you all can think i was just hallucinating or he might have been waving at someone else, but I know he waved at me.
Our eyes met. ♥♥♥♥♥

They look so good, with their accents and all. Ahh. Starstruck. 

The All American Rejects!

OMG they sang songs like Gives You Hell and Dirty Little Secret, I felt like I was living through my teenage-hood all over again. They wrote really great songs, dayummm. I think its really something to remember, to be able to watch The All American Rejects perform, despite me not being a totally huge fan.

Five for Fighting! 

Legends, I tell you. Honestly, I had no idea what songs they were singing half the time, of course, they were the most famous for Superman, and then.. the rest of the performance, everybody was just standing around cheering occasionally. But I'm glad I got to see them once in my life. :D

*************

Sometime after that, went on a tea-date with Omar :) And then watched some weirdo movie where people just float in space and bad things happen one after the other.

Thanks for the "lovely" pictures. Hehe. 

*************

Sometime before that, my sister and I went to help out a friend film an advertisement for her assignment. That was a lot of fun too. Strangers who become friends who become strangers again.

We ate ice cream, ate french crepe, strolled in the rain, went window shopping, took crazy pictures. Twas' a good day. 

*************

There's more but I think this post is way too long already.
Finals is coming up, I am freaking out and all but let's just get this over with, shall we?

Sweet dreams.

We are meant to be
another time
another life
possibly
probably
you would be mine

"He's a fool, you're just as well"

Now you'll never see
What you've done to me
You can take back your memories
They're no good to me

And here's all your lies
You can't look me in the eyes
With the sad, sad look
That you wear so well

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell

When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell 

All American Rejects!

Arthur's day update..

coming soon.

"The Cure"

"My mum always says opposites attract."

"That's magnets, we're people."

It feels like so much has happened and nothing has happened at the same time. Quick update. 

I've been living 4 hours of sleep a day, sleeping at all the wrong times, finishing up assignments last minute and it still doesn't seem to end. Have I been slacking? Not exactly, I'm just.. procrastinating. I've been really strange lately. Its like I'd say 'yes' to everything for a week, then I'll say 'no' to everything for the next. :/ #confused

So.. What happened? Uhm. 

I went to the We Love Asia Concert 2.0. And I've witnessed Pitbull live (or not live, I'm not sure) and I spent the whole night jumping around, covered in sweat and smoke. So much fun. 

Then.. we went for MTV World Stage, with EXO and Far East Movement and Robin Thicke. It was a pretty good night, despite the drizzle earlier in the night and the crazy fans. Maybe cause it was less hot and less people sticking to me, it was quite spacey. :D 

Then...  PARTAYYY~ new friends, old friends, acquaintances who eventually return to being strangers.

Then.. Back to being a student. Haihhh. Its been exhausting but I think the fight's not over yet. Finals will be approaching. I'm finding it so hard to be able to manage my time between me-time,sleep,  school, church, friends who are near and friends who are far. I'm sorry, I'm really busy and I'm trying my best. :/ Don't people realize that they're not the only ones having a hard time? Otherwise, I've been sacrificing a lot of the "fun times" just to get a little more sleep. My face is suffering, eye bags and dark eye circles are getting worse. 

Finally, it was my sister's birthday. 

I'm sorry I couldn't do more, it wasn't exactly all last minute. :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ❥❥❥❥❥ xoxo

So we went to 노래방, to celebrate. Big thanks to Zhan Wei for spending the whole day with me. Heh. I think he's the only so far willing to spend so much time with me. I see him 5 days a week, 5 hours a day. Or more. Lol.

  

I realised we were only ever apart for one birthday, that was last year. One birthday is enough, it shall not happen again! Cause my birthday without you was terrible, not sure if yours was though, heh. Thank you for always being there for me, for being my support, for being my confidant, for being my sister. Thank you for being born 2 years earlier than I was, thank God for putting us together. I love you!

I feel blessed now, after reflecting on the past 2 weeks. 

Thank you, God. 

Off to do assignments again now~

Tied up.

Picture by : this. I think this is a great experiment, all kinds of scary, all kinds of fun, a story worth telling in the future. Too bad I don't think I'd ever be able to experiment things like this with anyone. No one willing. :/

I keep feeling like hugging people. Like.. I'm suffering from hug-deficit for the past two weeks. Lol.

"I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love."

"You found me."

It feels like I've lost my voice.

I have no idea what I believe in anymore. I don't even remember who I used to be, how I used to be, what I used to be. What is this nonsense identity crisis I'm in the midst of? I barely have any opinions, its like I don't have a thought on anything at all. If it happens, it happens. I don't bother justifying things anymore, I don't bother evaluating things anymore, I don't remember the last time I judged something/someone. And I know, that is not a bad thing, I don't judge, I like that about myself. But I'm beginning to blur out the line between what's good and bad, what's right or wrong. I'm losing touch of what I live my life by. 

Its like I'm being just whoever the people around me thinks I am. It change accordingly, just to.. adapt. I don't remember how I used to think before. I hear all these strange voices in my head that don't belong to me.

Things are only valuable when they're rare. And now I'm becoming almost like everything else out there in the world, any kind of person, any kind of girl. Average? Oh-so-average. 

I feel like I don't think anymore. Gone are the days when I actually over-think things. Is it too early to say that I kinda miss that feeling? I feel like I need to have told this big, long, thick rope to hold my brains together, to get my mind to function again. If I kinda squish my brain up, maybe squeeze some of the juice out, to make it all soft and moist, will I begin to think deeper thoughts?

Days and days and more days past. I don't even notice. Its a strange kind of emptiness. Not the kind stemmed from being alone too long, it feels like it comes from being quiet amongst people too much.

I'm becoming dumb. 

!!!

Read THIS!!!

"I took someone else’s values and swapped them for mine, rather than redefine my values to meet my new view of myself. This laziness was my undoing. It’s why you must always consider the source of any advice you get before you adopt it. I was stupid. Later on, I realized what might’ve worked for them sure as shit didn’t work for me. I’m no good at being nice. Hell, I don’t even believe in niceness. I think it’s a lie. This is why you gotta do you. Nothing else will work but your truth.

But how do you “do you” when what you’re doing isn’t working? Another good question.

The old saying, “Nice guys finish last,” is somewhat misunderstood.

The saying should be: “Nice guys let others finish first.”

**********

WHAT AM I DOING. 

How can this article relate so much. Uhg, life.

One more time.

Bonding activity 101: Go to Genting in the middle of the night and freeze our butts off. 

Just the other day, a not-so impromptu plan to Genting, after some dancing and Jagger-bombs in Vertigo. Which also explains why I was wearing a skirt.

Group shot! There's so much love in this picture. My favourite one yet. :D

It was so cold, what we actually did there, was eat McD, walk around and then stand outside in the cold all just hugging each other because it was so cold, took some pictures, laughed, get stared at weirdly, went home when the sun rose.

 And then they were trying to portray with it was like to kidnap me, I wouldn't say they were trying to kidnap me because they couldn't even carry me. LOL. Yes, I know. I'm still trying to lose some of that unwelcomed weight gained. :/

With Mel, whom I really wish does not leave but would still want her to leave so she can fulfill her dreams at HKU. I couldn't open my eyes fully because the wind was blowing in my face.

Selca time! When the sun rose and the temperature lower. We're actually all pretty tired here, but thankfully, it doesn't show.

I've learnt a lot and I've seen many admirable characteristics so far that I'll definitely put in my list of things I should learn to be a better person. Last picture to commemorate Omar who wasn't there, I really wish you were.

사랑한다 친구 ♥♥♥

Invisible.

"Don't turn your back on me, 
I won't be ignored." 

The new people that step foot into my life does not over right the people who were already in my life.

A little bit of fun.

It seems like I (obviously) didn't mention in my previous post that my course has started, I'm in to my second week now as a VU business student. I honestly don't know what to feel about it, but I do know that I feel like I'm having a really hard time catching up. Maybe its my own mental state that's not moving on yet. It's really hard to get out of the holiday season that I have been so comfortably enjoying. Snap out of it, self! 

In other news, I did continue spending my first week of classes as if it was still holiday. I spent a good day, the last day, with Omar before he left back to his country.

 

Someone I can talk to, someone I can lean on, someone I can listen to, someone who listens to me. Someone to eat with, someone to sing with, someone to dance with, someone to play with, someone to shop (LOL) with, someone to watch movies with, someone to just do nothing with. :D

Someone to walk with, someone to enjoy the view with, someone to take pictures with. Haha, we have so many pictures together now. A great friend, a great companion, a great brother, a great...father (?), a great everything. Haha, my first dedication post to you! Thank you for everything.

I guess, in time, these people will become very precious to me, whether they know it, and whether I show it. So, we ended the night with a surprise belated birthday celebration for Mike and a great session of karaoke. It was indeed a good night. 

HAHA. Uhm. Sorry. Parental Advisory? Explicit content. Should I sensor the picture? 

WARNING : Do not let your parents catch you looking at this picture if you're under 18.

***************

God has been so kind to me, in the part about going back to university. On the first day of orientation, I dragged myself into the hall and awkwardly placed myself next to this guy, who was all cool and scary because no one knew each other. Lol. Then, there was this nice girl who came and sat next to me and we're probably not in close terms anymore. 

Let me tell you why. Because right when we finished our first awkward, quiet break together, I bumped into an old friend. YAY! I mean.. yeah. It has its pros and cons. I was so glad to see him, I could cry. Then, for some reason, the day just got easier to go through. 

:D Big smiles! 

Of course, the con would be that.. it gets harder to 'meet new people' when we're not alone. I guess in the end, we will rely on each other more often than not. I currently choose not to concern myself with the 'new people' thing because right now, I'm just glad to have a friend again. 

Long story short, uni is taking a toll on me because my mind and body can't seem to wrap itself around it yet, no synergy. Lol. I'm gonna make the best out of it. 

화이팅!

그때.

"I remember that day so clearly, just like I remember the way your long fingers cover mine as you drive, one hand on the steering, one hand in mine. I never forget the left side of your face, the one I stare at everytime, from the passenger seat. I remember peering at the speed meter to make sure you were going at a safe speed. I remember the way I put my feet up on the seat and how you refused to let anyone else but me eat in the car. It was so precious to you, and at that moment in time, so was I.

I remember the day you held on to me so tightly as I tried to pull the gift you gave me off the wall. With every pull, the tape makes a snapping noise that makes us realize just how much we're tearing off from our lives. By the time I pulled off the last tape, tears streaming down both our faces, reminding us of all the hateful words we said to each other. I also remember how you were still slurring pained words as a reflection of the pain you were feeling. Trust me, the pain was mutual.

I remember the marks that was made on my wall, where your gift used to be. I did not feel the need to remove everything that reminded me of you out of my life, the way you felt like you had to. I covered the marks to make it look like its never there. But truthfully, I can never forget. There's nowhere to run to. 

Today, the same gift and the same marks are still at the same place. It looks like nothing has changed other than the dead flowers which I have thrown away without a second thought, only small, lingering, whispering reasons. Everyday passes in this place, I am so used to it all that I don't even notice the small, small things that remind me of you, yet the big, big things put a bittersweet smile on my face each time. Proudly, I will say, 'I'm getting there'."

, 

"You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my walk
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone." 

Bisa?

First off, welcome back 언니! 

I was in Ipoh for the weekend, two weeks ago, preparing for a (little) vacation to Jakarta. :D So we travelled alot that weekend, finally made it to Jakarta. Cut the long story short, on Day-1, all we did was jam all the way back to my uncle's pretty nice condo and then we watched KBS all afternoon and ate Domino's for dinner. A bit potong stim, but since we were pretty tired from all the travelling, I think I slept at 10pm that day. Its a miracle!

The second day picked up with us heading to Ancol Dreamland, a large bay (?) where they built an entire themepark on. Its pretty old, I think. But not too bad. :D We went to the dry park only, Dunia Fanstasi, Dufan for short. 

We rode on The Challenger... 

 ...Tornado, and...

 ...Niagara Flume Ride. 

Its an achievement for my mum with her lack of photographing skills to be able to get pictures of us on all three. Hee. 

It was a good day, the park is very much spread out, so the queues weren't too bad. This was the longest line at the Flume Ride. And it drizzled in the second half of the day. All the kids were like staring at me. Hmmm. I wonder why. 

Baby elephant! So adorable I didn't want to let it go. :(

On the second day, my uncle took leave for 2 days to take us around. I am grateful, but.. yes, grateful. Haha. We went to Taman Mini Indonesia. There are supposed to be miniature attractions of the world there, but we didn't get to see any. And also, it rained all day. +.+

I thought I was the most dolled up that day, but then we just spent the whole day getting drenched in the rain before my mum couldn't take it anymore and bought umbrellas. 

There are all these olden houses there, with old stuff inside, to show the history of all the different ethnics of people and how they lived in Indonesia. It was.. slightly interesting, mildly boring. I think I almost paid no attention to the stuff I was looking at, and only on how the rain kept getting heavier.

At the place where the ppl sit to get married. What is it called again? :o 

Then we also visited the uhh.. Ikan Air Tawar place. I'm not sure what it is. Its just aquariums with a lot of fish. Lol.

We saw eels and large fishes and creepy looking fishes, it was totally fun. 

And then we visit the Insect Museum. No comment on that. Haha.

On the 3rd day, we went shopping. At this place that's really like Petaling Street multiplied by 4 and then squashed into one building. Yup, that was fun. We bought shoes!

Then on the 4th day, we went to Taman Merkasari, its like a fruit part, vegetable park.. I have no clue really. We went to visit the dusun. Lol.

With the cousins, YAY. First pciture, it was slightly forced and awkward.

Making faces. Lol. We woke up at 6am to get there, with an hour and a half ride. And so we took some starfruits and melons home. And some lime plants. Yes, totally irrelevant. 



Yes, the taman was a pretty cool place. It has those rope stuff for us to climb on, another water themepark right across that bridge, it had.. some other stuff.

The melon plants, they were totally cute. Haha.

 With my grandpa on our Family Tour to all the plantations. The starfruit plantation had like a million caterpillars all over the ground, so creepyyyyy.

Yes, this was the end of the Family Tour. 

Then we took a long long ride back to the city again, which where we just stopped by some random mall to have lunch cause we were all dying of starvation. The day continued as we went to the Lotte Avenue, which was newly built in Jakarta. It was all so pretty and so.. Korean. Oh, you cannot imagine how much I miss it there. :/ 

They built these pretty weird things for deco, this was a kinda lighted house thing, with those hoses hanging at the back that lights up. Sooo cool. 

And A-HA! We found SuJu there. It made my day, honestly. I mean, to see something familiar while we're there. Its a little.. warming. Hehe. 

Finally, before we flew off on Sunday, we headed out to some fancy mall to have lunch. And then finally, the kids decide to warm up to us and proceeded to say hi constantly and then stare. Hmmm. Cute. 

One last picture with the cousins and grandpa. He looked so happy there and so sad on the plane back. Sigh. Oh well. 

 

One last thing I really can't help but point out, is that the disparity in Jakarta is so obvious that it pains my not so hard heart. There are people standing in the middle of roads trying to sell candy and drinks and there are people wearing mascots just waving at the people in between cars along the roads hoping that maybe someone just pops out and hand them some change. Its heart wrenching. There are so many people with small stalls all over the place just trying to make a living. I don't know how they can do it, but they really have my full respect. They don't just sit around and wait (although, yes, there are beggars too), they actually do whatever it is that they can to earn a living. Round of applause, these things don't seem to happen in Malaysia. Their humbleness should be exemplified.

That was it. We came back, and my course has begun and I have no idea what life will bring for me now. Lets move on to the next chapter now, I'm done with the previous one.

Hwaiting!