I would have loved you, but I shall not.

“…my head drops towards the ground, not only so I no longer have to see the world, but so the world no longer can, nor has to see me.”

So I have reached another level of low in my life. Nothing's looking up. And apparently neither am I. Let's not forget what I am feeling today, so that the pain reminds me everyday to never, ever let that happen again. Never let your guard down again, never believe liars, never forgive people who do not deserve it.

From the bottom of every little piece of my heart, let this be over quickly. I cannot do this anymore. Let this month go by, and let next month never come. Its only downhill from here. I cannot really pretend anymore, I've reached the threshold now. Its all spilling, and I am tired. Please just let me break. I don't want to die, but I question why I can't.

I will remember the words you said, and remember that you do not mean them. Let this be over when you walk out that door.

Sometimes freedom could mean getting lost. Sometimes, it means you will not find your way back. Sometimes, that got to be okay.