what you don't know won't kill you

"So if love is nothing more than just a waste of your time
Waste it on me"

There's a lot of pain in this world. On days where it hits me the hardest, I think to myself 'human aren't made to withstand this much pain'. But are we? 

I'm asking the same questions now.

"왜 사느냐 물었다. 그냥. 그냥. 다들 그냥 산단다.
왜 죽으냐 물으면 지쳤다 하겠다."

Why do people live? Just, just because. People just live.
Why do people die? They'd say they were tired.

Some people choose to live, to go through it all, the good, the bad, the pain, the joy. Maybe these people have the ability to program their minds to turn the bad into less bad. Maybe they were lucky, lucky to have just a little, slightly more joy in their lives. Maybe they got saved. 

Some people choose not to. Some people just can't? Some people just decide to stop feeling all those things, stop trying, stop surviving, no hope, no strength, no choice, no more. 

So what makes the difference? Between these two types of people, between the ones who lives and the ones who choose to die? Why do people live? Why do people die? Do people just live because they got no reason to die? Do people just die because they got no reason to live? Do people stay alive for no reason at all other than the fact that it seems to be our default state? 

Our default state is to be alive. I literally laughed at that statement as I typed it. This statement takes all the meaning out of it, doesn't it? What if rebelling meant to not be in our default state, and that meant to no longer be alive? Are we all just waiting to die? It feels like that's how I've been living. 

“Loving you was dumb, dark and cheap
Loving you still takes shots at me
Found loving you was sunshine, but then it poured,"

It's pouring.

"수고했어.
정말 고생했어.
안녕."

You've done a good job.